on being a mommy

the nights, they're of the sleepless variety around here. and the days, they sometimes drag on until i think the world is just me and my baby forever and ever. which is one part precious and two parts despairing and lonely as hell. these are the things i think of for just three seconds each morning, when the sun hasn't thought of rising and the time on the clock is still foreign to my new mommy eyes. 4:50am... why am i awake at a time like this? because huck is hungry, or his diaper is soggy and he's gone for 2.5 hours already without a snuggle from his mama. without the luxury of consciousness, i rise from my newly temporary post in bed and reach for my child. and then i am content, because his breath has calmed and his perfect little face nuzzles my shoulder. this is what it means to be a mommy. and they were right, it's hard stuff. but it's the kind of hard that makes every stretch of effort worth the struggle.

huck turned 2 weeks last friday. in a flash, his life is already counted by weeks, not days. his cries are becoming more familiar, his squirms easier to translate. we know now that he takes longer morning naps than afternoon naps. his greatest stretch of sleep usually comes between 12am and 3. he likes to be swaddled, but his hands always find themselves free. his tummy has started to hurt every night around 7:30, and daddy is best at making it better. he loves baths, now that he gets to soak in the tub. he hates when his diaper is wet/dirty. he falls asleep every time he rides in the car. he l.o.v.e.s. being in the moby wrap with mama. he's patient about getting his clothes and diaper changed. he's impatient when he decides he's hungry.

all of these things i know because i am his mommy. yet still the idea is hard for me to grasp. how did i become so blessed? i spend the majority of my time with henry contemplating that question. joey is always reminding me not to over think it. god wanted him to be ours. but i still find it so unbelievable.

sleepy head.

my favorite times with my little man.

tummy time for huckleberry. still pretty rough, but he's getting better!

today was henry's 2 week follow up appointment. he's already just over 10 pounds and stretches 22 inches. he's growing so fast! i came across this blip of a poem the other day, and i feel like it's shouting to me during this very new stage of my life. maybe it says something to you about yours too. have a great week and a very happy thanksgiving!

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."
Mary Jean Irion