predictable four month check-in

mia is four months old, you guys. yet, i know it was just last week that i poked in here to brag about all of her three month tricks. there's got to be a way to bottle the baby months, doesn't there? i'd pay some real good money to be able to swim in these precious times for the rest of my life. i'd even be willing to hang on to the mid-night feedings if it meant i could smooch those million dollar cheeks for the rest of my days. gosh darn it, mommyhood is a heartbreaker.

to celebrate amelia's fourth month on earth, we met her new doctor and impressed him with her no-doubt record breaking verbal skills and physical abilities. amelia's sweet demeanor and impressive neck strength had the new doctor eating out of her tightly clenched fists, which must have made the three shots that followed seem all the more cruel. she handled the pain with a brave face and a few marble-sized tears, and then promptly fell asleep for what seemed like 24 hours. when she woke up this morning, she remembered the agony she'd dealt with the day before and hasn't let us forget about it since. in the hours she's been awake she's cried more than i've ever known to her to cry since birth, so you know we hurt her feelings in a big way, to say nothing of the sad sores she's carrying around under those tweety bird bandaids. poor girl.

a few days ago, i walked in to find amelia several inches from the perch i swore i'd set her in, and she'd pivoted about 45 degrees. the following day, she rolled from her back to her tummy. you don't need to tell me these little moments are important only to her overly proud parents. you also don't need to tell me she's incredible. because i know.

i mentioned last month in passing that our little family moved from virginia recently; but as it played out the move was pretty monumental for us, and really sort of a dream come true. before joey and i got married, we lived together in a cute little house in st. paul, and i think since then i've always imagined raising our family back there some day. in a mix of fate, good luck, and probably a lot of stubborn determination - here we are. it's insane to drive around these cozy little streets in the same car we used to cruise in, just the two of us, but now with two car seats in back and babes to fill them. strange the way life shakes out sometimes, isn't it? and even as i type this, i can't help but feel so grateful for the time we had in virginia - all the growth, all the challenges - and the the enormous blessing that we somehow found ourselves back here.

some day, i'll post a few pictures of our house now that we've settled in a little and finally feel like it's ours. we moved in to what we thought was a completely move-in-ready gem, but it turns out historic homes - for all their charm and beauty - come with fun little projects that aren't at all 'fun' and  are even less 'little'. we've quite literally been working on something in the house since we moved in. there may have even been one night where joey was haunting around at 2:00am trying to get the heat to come on in negative outside temperatures. i told you, not at all fun. but i have to hand it to joey for all of his hard work and handy-man skills. we've only ever rented together, with actually really responsive land-lords willing to fix just about anything in less than 24 hours, so it's been fun for me to see the hidden skills joey's been able to pull out as a home-owner almost every day around here. i think my parents would be thrilled to know that i married someone so able :) i, of course, married him for his good looks and wit, so the extra skills are just a welcomed bonus.

thanks for reading this extra long novel. check back next month for a fifth installment of amelia's bio, and maybe a few pictures of our home - if you're good.

xoxo


amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

amelia is three months!

merry christmas! i hope yours was as good as ours. and i hope your christmas tree photo was coordinated. stripped pajamas - i know you know what i'm talking about. i know  you took your christmas tree photo christmas morning, while your kids were red cheeked and glowing. i know your hair was perfect. ours was taken after the presents were unwrapped and our kids were glassy eyed and exhausted. we do things a little more raw around here. i can't stop looking at that family of mine in our mismatched pajamas. i can't think of anything else in this world that i could have asked for. that little picture is my christmas miracle.

the day after christmas, amelia turned three months old. in the last month, she's grown so much. she holds her head, steady as can be. she watches quietly, sometimes chirping at her brother as he wizzes past.

she loves to eat and spends the hours after a bottle spitting up and smiling. i've never met a more content and happy baby. she prefers to be standing, and if you sit her on your lap she'll stretch her legs out and arch her back so you remember to hold her up tall like the big girl she is. she splashes hard in the bath, soaking the towel and counter top around her. she watches her brother like she's memorizing everything he does, as if she's preparing for a pinnacle moment when she'll be big enough to run as fast as he runs, climb as high as he climbs. her eyes are set, determined.

we moved from virginia to minnesota this month. mia has her own bedroom filled with colorful garland and soft, fluffy carpet. her bedroom is right at the top of the stairs, and i imagine her in there rocking her dolls and hiding from her brother. or maybe standing her dinosaurs side by side, in perfect little rows, the way she watched her brother do it. whatever she does, it will be epic, and we will love her endlessly.

happy three months, baby girl.


amelia at 1 month, 2 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

19 months

in two days, henry will be 19 months. he climbs the stairs at the park all by himself. swings his leg up, one by one, until he's all the way to the top. he scurries around in wiggly circles once he's safely landed, king of the jungle (gym). then, as if magnetized by the potential energy radiating from the gaping opening, he saunters over to the slide and sits himself down. with little hesitation, he scoots to the edge and smiles wide the whole way down. no one to catch him. no care in the world.

he wakes up bursting with agenda items.
"a poo poo" (a new diaper would be great.)
"gaut!" (i'd like my blanket, mother dear.)
"mama?!" (is mama somewhere? i'd like her in sight at all times.)
"a bu bye." (let's bounce.)

life doesn't seem so busy these days, somehow. we've taken on a new rhythm, i think. it's soothing the way the days beat on in a steady sort of way. nothing too radical, always safe and cool.

we've be talking incessantly about moving lately. sometimes, moving to the next town over seems like the solution to any problems in the world. other days, nothing will do except a uhaul back home to a cute little house in short driving distance from the people we'll always be looking for here. the truth is, the distance seems much wider when scary things are happening in our family's lives, and being here makes us both feel incredibly helpless and sad.

but we're learning, day by day, where to find the best parks in virginia and the best coffee. we've found a pizza place that will never be this (our first date!), but will do for now. and our friends here are turning into some of the best we could ask for. this place, and our little family as we wait it out here, are all going to be alright.

a nine month check-in

hi friends! henry's been doing a lot of exploring these days, because his parents are obsessed with their new neighborhood and finally see fit to wander around the streets in the carefree way they used to wander around their neighborhood in st. paul. it feels so good to be able to take h out on the sidewalk without fearing for his life as the speeding cars race past a mere 2 inches from our faces. our old house in alexandria was just off the busiest of highways, and unless we wanted to remain locked in our town-home complex, we had to brave the traffic to hop over to the not-nice-at-all neighborhoods around us.

i think joey and i echo the same sentiment about our adoration for our new apartment about 10 times a day, we just can't say it enough! our old place was fine, but this place! this is where we belong! at least for the next year or so ;)

oh, and henry wants to show you his new room! he loves that his floor is now covered in plush carpet - perfect for all kinds of rolling about. 

last wednesday, henry had his nine month well-baby check-in. we rounded out the appointment with a single shot in the leg that henry took like a true gentleman. he looked over at me in utter disappointment, let out a single cry, and turned his full attention toward sophie, because sometimes there's really nothing else to be said. his weight and height have remained safely in the 70ish percentile, but like a true larson he's got the melon of a giant - 91%. with a gourd like that we'll be wheeling him to pre-school, because never will he ever stand unsupported. and as i say that he's anchoring himself to the side of the coffee table with one hand grasping a red ball and two feet planted semi-firmly in place. my sense is that his inability to keep his nose out of the business of everyone else's will drive him to walking much early than i'll ever be ready for.

enjoy your week!

diaries of a saturday

the last three weeks have just been nutso, and i've spent far too many hours of my days away from my huckas. so when i'm home, the last thing in the world i think about doing is getting back on the computer - even if it's for the sake of this blog. and really, i guess i'm likely the only one it matters to much anyways, so i've been leaving it behind. but this morning, henry laid himself down for a two and a half hour (and counting) nap, allowing joey and me to catch up on lots and lots of paper-work (also neglected in the midst of all this busy!). and finally, it's time to blog.

this morning, h and i woke up before six and let joey keep on snoozing so we could spend some quality time, just mama and huck. we watched carebears while he sipped a bottle for the entirety of one full episode (don't rush a henry when he's drinking a bottle!), we played with his toys in a little pillow fort we made on the couch

and then we went on a walk around our new neighborhood that wore me straight out (and left henry happy as a lark). by the time we settled back in he was ready to nap and joey was just rolling out of bed :)

this afternoon, whenever my sweet boy decides to rise from his cribquarters, we're on a mission to find him a bookcase for his loads and loads of books that just don't have a home yet in our new apartment. 

i hope your weekend is lovely!

9 months

henry turned 9 month old yesterday, and because work has been so busy this week and joey was out of town, h and i were up before the sun for a quick photo shoot before we had to rush off to daycare + work. he tried to tell me his morning cow licks were out of control, but i couldn't see them in the poorly lit living room, nor did i really care. so here we have it. my very tired boy, up before dawn for his 9 month shoot.

this month, hucka:

1. grew two whole bottom teeth!

2. moved from alexandria to arlington, and he loves his new room!

3. does not even pretend to be interested in crawling, or scooting, or moving in any way other than in the arms of another or incessantly rolling about - he would roll to africa before he entertained the preposterous idea of crawling.

4. continued to perfect his fully supported standing position. and now he likes to spice things up with lots of bouncing and one handed table holds to make his mother's heart shoot straight out her throat in fear that he will crack his head open on the edge of whatever hard object he's standing near or on.

5. slept through the night the entire time his mother was away, and jumped back into the every-other-night wake-up routine on precisely the day she returned. angel, that one.

6. surpassed his mother's nutritional maturity level and started eating meat! spaghetti with meat sauce? chicken noodle soup? his daycare provider will steal his heart right from my grasp if i keep up our pathetic regimen of hummus and apple sauce around here.

in case you care to reminisce... 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, and 8 months.

we've moved!

 

we're finally in our new apartment, and we're starting to feel more settled than we've felt in almost a year. it's really sort of this confusing combination of relief and grief we're feeling with this move, because why didn't we move over here in the first place?

when we moved to alexandria, we were trying to align our location with the metro stop and my school. since i'm not teaching anymore, clearly that is much less of a priority for us, and there are metro stops all over the place! so we found this cute little apartment, and all of us are completely in love!

i hope your week has been as lovely as ours. have a great weekend!

 

quick update +h in pictures

just a few pictures from the week.

strawberries. all day, every day. he's in heaven. 

and, hand dimples. be still my heart.

joey is back home, and all is right in the world. we are spending our sunday packing, because this week is going to be a crazy whirlwind of activity, and a week from tuesday the movers will be here whether we're ready or not.

a friend of joey's from college is getting married in cancun on saturday, so we're flying down there wednesday morning to spend some time in the sun. my mom gets in tomorrow evening to watch our bundle while we're in mexico, and she's staying to help us move when we get home.

have a great week! we'll post pictures of our new space once we're settled :)

the quickest trip home

the day after henry turned six months old, we got up before the sun, hopped in a taxi, spent a few hours on a plane, and before 11 am we were at the sioux falls regional airport skidding down the runway and looking out at the familiar buildings and street signs that somehow send the same warm feeling through my body as a big hearty bowl of soup on the rainiest of days.

joey and i decided only a few weeks ago to make the trip home for a real quick weekend after i got an excited-to-the-point-of-hysterics call from my mom with all the reasons we just couldn't deny that we hadhadhad to be there. my cousin, my first baby, my little lys, my heart from way back, is graduating this year, and clearly i just couldn't miss her graduation reception. and bonus points for all, because my sweet cousin from my dad's side (who also happened to be one of my favorite people in all the land when we were little to play school/house/doctor with) was getting married on the same day! so there it was, decided on the spot, and when i was told my brand new job would start the week we were flying out, i had to say, "k, thanks a million. but i won't be there friday...," because priorities, you guys! but no trip back home would ever be completely fulfilled if we couldn't see the most amazing in-laws to ever walk this earth, so we begged (but didn't have to beg too hard, thankfully) them all to hang out with us on friday night, and alas, we got to see joey's family as well (but not nearly long enough, and why oh why does dc have to be so blasted far from south dakota?!). and for whatever reason, i will never remember to stop what i am doing for only a second and a half to snap a picture or twenty of our family together. i have a camera full of grainy pictures of the white house and every other high-profile spot in dc, but my family is what i really want in the end! i'm so sad that all i have of our time with joey's family are 7 different versions of this one, in which henry looks about at impressed as a slug to be hanging out in the sun.

and all i have of alyssa's graduation reception, although we were surrounded by more family than i could even name, are versions of this unruly hairdo atop one blindingly white exposed arm. but doesn't alyssa pull off hipster cool better than anyone else?

oh, wait. here's one at the graduation reception of henry on grandma's horsey. he didn't hate it.

the wedding overlapped alyssa's reception, so we missed the ceremony but showed up just in time to snag the last plate of potatoes, like the terrible party crashers we are. we surprised my dad and the rest of the family, so i passed my son around to make up for any hard feelings. i made him spend the most time with my dad because not only was he totally surprised when we showed up at the reception, but he's got plane tickets to fly out to see us this thursday so we're making him hang out with us two weekends in a row and i felt like we owed him as many big slobbery huckleberry kisses as possible. see you soon dad!

henry also got to smooch the pretty bride :)

my amazing mom drove all the way to the wedding reception to pick up henry and my brother's kids so we could have some quality sibling/adult time, minus our tired offspring. henry got to spend his first night away from mama and daddy at joey's mom's house, and mama got her first uninterupted/stressfree night sleep since henry's birth. winwin!

family is just my favorite thing there is. 

it gets harder and harder to keep henry so far away from the people and places that made us who we are. incredibly, the second i step off the plane in sioux falls i feel like i never left, and the people we get to see while we're there feel as close to me while i'm there as if we lived right next door to one another. but we don't, and for now at least we are here, in dc, to build a life for our little family. and so we will celebrate these quick trips back to the midwest and look forward to the time we get to spend with our families when they visit. and from afar, we love them deep down to the bottoms of our toes. 

deep, breathy sigh

do you hear that? it's the sound of not one but three sets of relieving shoulder rolls from all corners of the larson house this week (yes, henry had mandatory involvement as well), because we're rich with offer letters over here. on sunday, while enjoying his new hobby of zillow-stalking, joey happened upon a new area in arlington (just north-east of our house in alexandria) that is situated pretty conveniently between henry's current daycare and joey's job in rosslyn. plus, dc (and my new job) are quite a bit closer as well. so we found a reasonably priced apartment complex that boasts a great 2-bedroom floor plan with comparable square footage to our current town-home, and we pounced. luckily, we were able to lock down a balcony unit so joey can continue to grill all the live long day with our new little travel grill, which we've used everysingleday since purchase a month ago. it's summa time over here and we will shout it from the rooftops while preparing our feasts outdoors for good measure.

what?! did someone say "feasts!?!" right here on this tray, if you please.
(henry's wonderful grandparents hooked him up with this stylish new high chair before they left. thanks g+g!)

our move-in date is mid-july, so we've got some time to purchase lots more henry accessories before then and outgrow the new place before we even get there. you know, like the little smarties we are.

on monday, the skies opened up and my offer letter from work finally arrived. we're not wasting any time jumping back on the saddle (except if you count the six month maternity leave we'll be wrapping up, because if you do that saddles's been vacant for faaaaar too long), i start on monday. but don't you worry for a second that i won't drone on and on about every stitch of my first day for you once i've recovered from the shock of getting dressed in the morning (and staying that way all day). we're all shaking a little in our sweat pants because routine is what this family thrives on, and when you pepper in a job for the mama (with a 40 minute commute both ways), life will most certainly not glide on as before. you might send beer and bath salts for the patriarch of the family, because his wife life is about to get a whole lot crazier.

hope your week dries out a little. we're soaked in april showers this week and hoping they don't drown out the may flowers, which are hanging heavy in full bloom already. henry thinks the rain is a terrible annoyance when it splatters on his face. but you won't catch the one trying to wrangle the 20 pound prince, while gripping the umbrella under her chin next to the diaper bag noose, complaining. nope, not complaining one speck.

rainy days are for dirty laundry

warning: this post contains (metaphorical) graphic images of my soul splayed out in ugly detail. but it's real life we're after here, so read on if you dare.

remember back in january when i shared a tiny hint about something new coming up for us, and then again in march i asked for your thoughts because finally things were starting to iron themselves out and the job was "officially" mine… but not really, because it's still not even officially mine? don't worry, i wouldn't expect you to uncover the encryption of any of this… so let me start over!

when we moved to virginia, i took a job teaching sixth grade math in a school district that was considered "at risk". the math department was in shambles, performance scores were abysmal, and the school was without a superintendent. but i have a master's degree, and more than anything i wanted to teach math and provide for my growing family, so i took the job with excitement and a teeny bit of apprehension (because self-doubt is my middle name). but when i finally got into the position, surrounded by the most helpful and supportive team of teachers and administrators i could ask for, i crumbled. i was absolutely defeated every single day by the very real challenges that come with teaching in such a hurting district. my heart was broken for the students i couldn't reach and for the students who stared at me with wide, eager eyes from all corners of the room who couldn't reach me. my days started at 5 am and ended most days after 6, and every breathing second was focused on finding a way to morph sixth grade math lessons into blankets of strength and knowledge for a group of kids whose everyday thoughts literally consisted of finding a place to sleep, food to eat, and someone to care. and although to the very soles of my feet i cared, and maybe because of that, i chose to walk away from my classroom for good when henry was born. because i knew that i couldn't go on with my heart shattered every single day and be the kind of mom and wife i needed to be for my family. but the move wasn't taken lightly. joey and i spent so many sleepless nights going over and over the decision that we got more sleep with a newborn than we did those few months i was teaching.

i don't, even for a second, regret my decision to move on from teaching at this point in my life. i am a teacher at heart, and will always crave the feeling i get when i'm in a classroom, but now is not the time. here is not the place. so i gave myself two weeks to bond and cuddle my brand new baby, and then i began searching for a job that would help support us through the next chapter in our lives. while we lived in saint paul i worked for the medical school at the university of minnesota supporting the curriculum department and managing a few classes for first and second year medical students. i really enjoyed the work i did at the u, and so i focused my job search in virginia on something similar at one of the many universities in the dc area. about a month after henry was born, i was called to interview for a position in the medical school at george washington university (gw), and almost a month after the interview - still having heard nothing except, "the decision is still in the works," - we gave up hope that the job was mine. but finally at the end of january, i got a call from the medical school. they told me the job wasn't mine, i didn't have the experience they were looking for, but they were intrigued with what i had to offer them. miraculously, gw had decided to create a position for me supervising a group of people who essentially hold the same job i had held at the university of minnesota. i was honored they'd considered me for the position and so very anxious to start as soon as possible. but oh the red tape we've had to cross since that phone call in late january!

fast-forward to today, four months after my first interview at gw, and i am still waiting for the red tape to clear. i'm told the position will start in two weeks. but i could count on two hands the number of times i've been told that in only the last two months. meanwhile, our daycare had all but given up on us in march, so we were forced to start henry part-time to hold our spot (while paying full-full-full-full time prices. think double-rent-sized payments!) while i am still pacing the floors waiting. and waiting.

through it all, believe me, i am not feeling sorry for myself! in fact, the very opposite! we are blessed beyond belief that we were able to stock away a healthy enough savings fund while i was teaching to get us through this financially straining time. it helps that we are still able to get by without formula (thank god!), because henry's allergies would force us into a desperately costly variety! and an entertainment budget with an infant is essentially zero dollars :) not to mention some very special guardian angels (you know who you are!) have kept our growing babe in high fashion since birth. somehow, wondrously, everything has fallen into place.

in the end, i guess i needed to share this part of our journey to update those who've patiently waited for answers, or prayed for us from afar. but also to acknowledge how overwhelmingly blessed we've been. we moved to virginia with very high hopes and sparkling (blinded) eyes, and we've been surprised to find out how very real life can be. and looking back it's almost humorous to remember how rosy our blissful life once was, but encouraging to acknowledge how very blissful and fulfilling it still is. this life, it's such a crazy ride. and my two boys and i, we're anxious to uncover what's around the next corner. henry hopes it's a puppy ;)

thanks, as always, for reading.

a wonderful time of the year

a few things for your week before christmas...

when my brother and sister-in-law were in town, and we were in the middle of henry's mysterious cry-all-the-time-sleep-almost-never stage, we were introduced (thank you again guys!) to this marvelous machine. henry doesn't like to admit when he loves a contraption that detaches him from the arms of his delightful parents, but this thing is the only place henry will remain content for longish periods of time while not sewn tightly to his parents. so even if it's not love for huck it's gooshy love for his mother. and now i have no excuse, things must get done around the house again ;)

henry and i are taking an exciting (and also terrifying) adventure together this week! joey has to work until thursday, so he'll come later, but henry and i are flying home for christmas on wednesday. i'm not the type to assume the worst (that's a bold lie, i always assume the worst!) but this flight of the single mother and not-always-cheery-infant could possibly turn the ugliest of ugly. wish us all the luck you can find!

speaking of henry, because what else do i do?, the little angel has recently (for the past four nights!) started sleeping through the night! and can i just say, hallelujah! for the first time in all of henry's blessed life on earth i am rested/functioning/not-even-a-lil-bit delirious. i don't hate it. and now that it's published i expect a sharp turn for the worst tonight, but only because isn't that how these thing go?

i hope your christmas is magical. traveling back home for the first time since moving to virginia and having huck this year makes this christmas season extra special for us. here's hoping huck and i survive the trip! merry christmas!

three weeks and an east coast thanksgiving

happy thanksgiving everyone!

we spent the thanksgiving holiday away from family this year. it wasn't easy, and both joey and i mentioned several times throughout the day how strange it felt this year celebrating the holidays and getting ready for christmas with huck away from the people we always spend these times with. but we're trying to embrace the changes and get excited about these new experiences we're making out here, because we have our own little family to make the holidays special. tradition though, it sure dies hard.

on thanksgiving morning we drove to columbus, just south of baltimore, to spend time with some friends joey knew in high school. one of the couples moved to the area recently as well, and have a set of 15 month old twins who are probably only an inch taller than huck. we had a great time catching up and comparing and sharing moving catastrophes and parenting tips with people we have so much in common with. more and more this big place feels like it could become a comforting place to call home for our little family... at least that's what i hope everysingleday!

another one of joey's high school friends met us in columbus as well, and after lunch we stole her away for a couple of days to explore dc, take care of our son, and sleep on our couch. it was great to have company and an excuse to tour dc again. we've lived here for almost four months and i feel guilty every day that i'm surrounded by a city so rich with history and experiences i'm not having. i blame the turning weather and my still-pretty-small son for locking myself away in our little house most days, but i know my pathetic excuses will sound awfully lame some day when we realize we've missed out on so many great things while we lived out here. my thanksgiving resolution is to stretch my legs and find all the reasons to fall in love with our new city. someday, maybe, i won't feel like such a foreigner in a strange new land living here.

in other news, henry turned three weeks yesterday. his newest trick is to keep mom and dad on their toes for 1-3 hours each night while he cries veryveryloudly, with no hope of consolation. poor little guy has tummy aches that won't quit most nights, and the only way he knows how to push through is to make sure his weary parents are well aware! we've gotten extremely creative with our soothing techniques around here for king henry. wish us luck as we continue to search for the one that actually works :)

have a great weekend! we're turning on the christmas movies and putting up our tree today... gosh i love this time of year!

nothing better than dad's arms

henry's first bath. he likes it, he really does.

on taking the lesson

it's not easy to admit, because i like to think i am a relatively strong person, but the last few weeks have been some rough ones. i tend to do the best when i know where i'm standing, and i know that my life is in some sort of logical order. i like routine. i don't like change. i like to be challenged, but mostly only on my own terms. these characteristics about me drive my husband insane because that means that every time something haphazardly rocks my ship my hands go up and i deflate into a blubbering mess of misery. again, i'm not proud of this. i also know it doesn't make me sound very strong.

over the last few years i've found myself positively showered with really, really amazing accomplishments and life-altering blessings. we got married, we're having a baby, we're healthy, we've been blessed with incredible job opportunities. but intermixed between all that wonderful - and sometimes because of the blessings - there have been some challenges i look back on and feel i hardly survived. my stomach still turns to knots over the memories. and today - these last few weeks - i've been in it again. i'm making the kind of memories i know i will remember later and cringe about. i feel sort of like i'm drowning, not just in the reality of the challenges but in the anxiety i can't seem to break away from. i know there are lessons that need to come from all of this. i know that in the end i will be grateful for the opportunity to have ridden these rough waters towards whatever is was that i was destined to learn from it all. but today i am having a hard time praising god for these great learning experiences.

i hope you are having a great week. i hope the struggles and challenges you are facing make you feel stronger and more capable. i hope you find lots of reasons to smile. meanwhile, i'm working on this:

there's an infant in my ribs

okay, little one, you win. you have official custody of my right rib cage, but i will treat you with extra chocolate ice cream if you try very hard to swim closer to my belly button. it's getting harder and harder to sit  anywhere for long - which exacerbates the pressure in my ribs. it's okay for now because school starts on tuesday and there's not much time for sitting anyway. i still sleep like a champion though. laying is far more comfortable than sitting ever is. once my head hits the pillow i'm a gonner. i've been told i'm lucky sleep is so easy for me still, but sleep and i have always had a pretty unbreakable relationship. she/he is kicking constantly. there is always an elbow sliding across my stomach, or a foot pressing steadily against my side. i'm not complaining, but it's truly the most ludicrous feeling in world.

babes and i had an appointment with our first doctor out here on thursday. her office was filled with the warm smells of curry and sour bodies. as i was leaving she asked to see me in two weeks, because astoundingly we're already down to prenatal appointments every two weeks! i told her i would get back to her with my schedule. smells, especially since i got pregnant, are the first thing i notice when i go anywhere. i was turned off immediately. doctor's offices should smell like disinfectants and soap. i came home, had a slight break down, and tried to schedule an appointment with a different doctor; but with no luck. apparently when you're 30 weeks pregnant, physicians have a hard time accepting you into their clinic with no questions asked. they have to process my medical records and then find a slot to squeeze me in to their busy practice - especially the sought after ones. thankfully we had already scheduled a backup appointment with another clinic/doctor for september 9. i had it in my mind i didn't want the sept. 9 doctor though because she delivers at a different hospital than the one recommended to me by some very enthusiastic co-workers. there's no way i'm going back to curry lady though, so you know the rest of the story. sept. 9 doc it is.

everything to do with the baby now has me as territorial as a pissed off mama bear. this doctor situation is completely unacceptable to me, and joey is constantly pulling me down from the ledge. i get so angry with myself for not being more prepared, not knowing well enough how to handle a move across the country with a baby on the way. there were things about the move that were difficult, but the hardest thing - by far! - has been the effects of the move on the pregnancy. joey reminds me daily that nothing has gone wrong! we're still on track! baby is doing great (re-affirmed by curry lady on thursday)! but until i have a nursery, a real doctor, and a plan i'll feel like i'm flailing.

stay tuned for the no doubt enthralling tales of our sept. 9 appointment ;) to keep you crawling back for even more, here's the travel system that's on it's way to our house! not exciting for you? sorry.

here's babe at 31 weeks!

month of new

it's not every day a girl gets to move to virginia and discover all kinds of secret places she never would have happened upon in another life, a life without moves and uncomfortable transitions. so this is to those transitions. the kind that aren't always easy, but which make us grow into versions of ourselves we never could have imagined. 

on monday, joey started his new job. he comes home every night anxious to report back how much faster his commute was, how many 4-star generals he saw on the metro, and interesting facts about u.s. owned property overseas. i can't tell you how excited i am to see his eyes sparkle with purpose now that he's settling into his first real job. if only we could get those h.r. folks to expedite our much anticipated first paychecks we'd be in business.

for the past three weeks i've been in meetings for hours and hours. my classroom is coming together but there is a ton o' work to be done before tuesday, when the students start back. whoever stole my inclination to stressing out though, thank you very much and do keep that away until forever. old me would have been a crumpled mess of anxiety over this time crunch, but for some reason i find myself feeling mostly nonchalant as the week draws to a close. we'll see how hard i'm kicking myself next week when the anxiety hasn't catapulted me into over-prepared, because lord knows over-prepared is the only way teachers survive. wish me luck ;)

finally, a nursery. and other things.

as purrr-omised, i give you our new couch. we love the sleek look and super convenient built-in chaise. before you have time to formulate your "white couch! why would you buy a white couch when you're going to have a baby!" speech, let me tell you this picture makes the couch look lighter than it really is. the true color is oyster, thank you very much. and i know! we know we should have opted for darker in anticipation of babe, but it really is a great stain hiding fabric that we're hoping will hold up to the shenanigans that will come with the addition of our (increasingly enormous) offspring. and if not, well then shoot.

this weekend is the last one before joey finally goes back to work. he's had the luxury/anxiety of having no job for the majority of the summer (no work for 1/2 of our workforce = 1/2 our typical income), and he is r.e.a.d.y! to head back to the grind. plus this job he's starting is the reason we moved our little heinies out here, so he's anxious to see what all the fuss is about. can i just say though that a stay-at-home husband as cute and antsy as mine makes for one heck of a life. the house is (usually) clean when i come home and all annoying tasks (like license and registration for our cars, insurance logistics, pesky ceiling leak fixes, cable/internet set up, etc.) are all taken care of while i'm safely at work. i could get used to the pampering... but i won't because gosh it'll be nice to have a little bit more dough around here :) and did you know, the east coast is expensive!

to celebrate, we're working on the nursery today! we've literally done nothing in the way of nursery prep up until now because 1) for the first half of the pregnancy we didn't live in our bring-home-the-baby-house, and 2) moving is a ton of work/money and these things take time. but don't think it's not driving me crazy or that it didn't turn me into a slobbering monstrosity during one particularly attractive moment this week. "what kind of mother doesn't even have a nursery yet?!?" i scream/cried/slobbered for the better part of the evening. poor joey. his patience is endless.

i'll try to post some progress pictures of the nursery along the way. have a great weekend!

to define what matters

this weekend joey and i met my grandma's cousin and her husband for some delicious food and a personal tour of dc. we're so grateful to have family here, especially family we didn't even know we had! the picture above of us at the franklin d. roosevelt memorial (my current favorite) is one of many photos that they offered to take of us throughout the city. you're welcome for not sharing them all ;)

let me say my heart is a little heavy tonight, so i apologize for how deep this is going to get. feel free to pop back in a few days... probably by saturday i'll have some fun tales to share :) if you're good i'll post a picture of my new couch then too, because i l.o.v.e. it!

it's funny (but really not too funny) how much of life we take for granted when we become caught up in the day to day. we focus in on the little annoyances that seem like mountainous catastrophes or spurts of schedule gridlock that turn us into stressed out zombies. the busier we are, the more we let those responsibilities and commitments become our points of pride. i somehow feel more relaxed and at peace with myself because i spent ten hours working yesterday instead of eight. the extra two hours means i must have accomplished more, did something more important. it's not a bad thing we feel this way i suppose, it just turns our lives into a series of sprints and we forget how beautiful the path was before we got so busy. i say "we", but i mean "i" in the most literal sense of the word. i'm more guilty than many (maybe most). ask me what i'm busy doing and i might throw you a handful of work responsibilities or awe you with some combination of chores and errands that i ticked off my to-do. we can pat each other on the back as we compare and contrast how busy one another's lives are. it doesn't end, these lists of responsibilities, and neither does the importance we place on them. we're made up of these commitments, we let them fill us until we're somehow more whole.

this all started because i wanted to emphasize how truly important, but sadly often forgotten, the "other things" in our lives are - faith, family, friends, marriage, love. how monumental these things become when they're spread out across hundreds of miles. i wanted you to know how petty the day to day stuff seems in comparison because the big stuff isn't at my fingertips anymore, my family and friends are all a plane ride away. but petty isn't fair, not when the thing that defines you - the busy, the responsibility - has been taken away without your consent. these words hold brand new meanings when they're no longer part of your life, and the control that you once had and depended heavily on has disappeared. without the "busy" we feel empty, without purpose, and wounded - oddly. without a list of tasks, some degree of reliance or expectation that someone (anyone!) has placed on us, we feel like shadows. we are no longer who we were, and now we let the absence of busy define us.

someone very important to me has been left without that feeling of purpose achieved through the day to day responsibilities, and my hope is that there is a way for that person to become whole again surrounded by the truly important things in life - faith, family, friends, marriage, love. my prayer is that those things will become enough again, and the other things will come too (but with less importance) because the emptiness is no longer there to take up all the space. your prayers would be wonderful, we're praying hard at our house too.

real life

i don't know how i feel about it yet, but i start school on monday. not real school, the kids don't start back until after labor day, but we have teacher prep through the end of august. i'm thankful i have a little bit of time before jumping in. i sort of relished in the flexibility i had in my job at umn. prenatal doctors appointments were nothing to bat an eyelash at, i could take leave whenever i needed to. with a classroom and lesson plans to worry about, i've got a little bit more to deal with throughout the increasingly hectic weeks leading up to our due date - more doctor's appointments, getting the nursery ready, planning my classroom for the weeks i'll have off. we'll get through it, i'm just a little worried.... i don't like change. my life is the definition of change right now, so my skin is always on the verge of crawling.

joey and i spend our days now lazily wandering around. we wander our house, anxious for our new furniture to arrive, not knowing where to sit for now. we wander the streets of alexandria comparing its busy intersections and highways to the ones in saint paul, then to those in sioux falls. we don't know how we feel about the way the pavement meanders about, almost without purpose. no straight lines, no curb and gutters. why is that? we find ourselves passing judgement, desperate to find reason in this new place, our new home, that seems almost foreign to us. we need rhythm, we need consistency. we lack both right now without jobs to keep us tied to schedules that make sense. yesterday and today we found ourselves setting the alarm clock just to get out of bed for the cable guy, the plumber, the electric company. but that's not enough to fill a day, so then we wander some more. the number of times we've convinced ourselves a trip to target or the grocery store was in order might sound alarming to you, so i won't share. i wouldn't honestly know anyways, but i do know how to successfully navigate my way to at least two targets and three grocery stores within ten minutes of our house. we can't figure out why there are so many stores, identical stores, within such a short distance from one another. we can't figure out a lot of things here.

our house sprung a leak today, and we both stood in silence watching it drip, drip, drip from the dining room ceiling. what do you even do about that? we lived in our house in saint paul for two years and never once had to bother our landlord with home issues. our landlord here is as helpful as can be and doesn't seem to be rattled by the fact that in the week we've lived in his home we've emailed him at least three times with new work orders. the garbage disposal stopped working, the downstairs bathroom smells like death, and now - to our distress - the bathroom tile upstairs appears to have missing grout (the kind of grout that keeps water from seeping between the shower tiles, down through the floorboards, and settle contently in the drywall above our dining room table). the fix seems to be to tear up the dining room wall, air out the moisture, and seal up the tile. i'm no handy man but i know sheet rock ideally stays in place once installed. i also know enough about construction to assume my house will be covered in sheet rock dust pre and post installation. so we have that to look forward to.

on that light note, joey made a sort of nauseating video tour of our house today. he'll be offended if i leave it there; it's only nauseating for those who don't get into the camera shakes and fast spans common in most home videos (this one included). he can't get over his sultry voice narrating the film. you'll have to let him know who you think he sounds like, he's not sure but cory matthews from boy meets world is first runner up. if that's not enough to convince you to watch, i'm not sure what would do it ;)

tomorrow is our one year anniversary. we're going into dc for the first time since we moved here to celebrate and see the sites. we're both beyond excited to have an excuse to get out and do something... anything. i'm sure you're excited to hear all about it. don't worry, you will.

virginia, my home

when we told people we were moving to the east coast, we were amazed at the number of people who felt either very strongly that we were doing the right thing, or very strongly that we were crazy. and to be fair, we agreed with both camps. i can’t count the number of times we second-guessed the decision, or woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, positive that it was the wrong thing, the wrong time, the wrong… us. but there was also this indescribable urge to do something that surprised us both, that probably surprised everyone who knows us. because why not? and when the jobs were offered and the contracts were signed we just had to do it… despite the night sweats, tearful calls from family, and desperately heartbreaking goodbyes.

the morning we left saint paul was cool, damp, and eerily dark for 7am. we were sprinkled then poured on for 40% of the day, making me praise the lord for covered trailers and curse the heavens for slick interstates and shooting sideways rain spraying from the u-haul train in front of me. the relatively flat interstate took us across the eastern edge of minnesota, through wisconsin, and lost us west of chicago, were we forked from an impending toll booth to enjoy 45 semi-relaxing minutes snaking through illinois farm country at 35 blessed miles per hour (the corn looked incredible, for those interested). we found i-39 (finally) just in time to connect with i-74 into indiana. i will say again, indiana was not my favorite leg of the trip. those poor pot-hole infested interstates could use some tending, and when you’re following a pontiac/trailer combo with a mind of its own, attached to an eight ton u-haul, those pot holes they help the anxiety run hot. thankfully, the following day was sunny and beautiful as we hurled (such a funny word to use for the snail-like speed we took up for most of our second day) ourselves through the glorious hills of pennsylvania, west virginia, and maryland to rest for the night in a rancid smelling hotel establishment 75-ish miles from home.

seventy-five miles can sound like a dreamscape when you’re used to plowing through hundreds of miles over the course of a day, and i will assure you sights appeared shiny as we crept onto i-70 ready to arrive with time to spare at our new front door to meet the landlord. but the traffic here, it had some attitude to swing our way – a little welcome message for two naïve little souls from south dakota. and to be fair, we were warned. “the traffic out there is the worst in the country!” they all told us. “do you live far from work? traffic’s a mess.” and let me be the one to declare here and now, they were right. i complained about 40 mph through the hills of west virginia, but i was begging the good lord for 20 mph while we followed the parking lot that is your average d.c. area freeway into alexandria. but alas, we arrived on time to meet our incredibly sweet landlord. the helpful gentleman went so far as to describe to joey and me the workings of our over-the-stove microwave – lest it be too far out of our intellectual reach to operate a (gasp) digital microwave. i poke fun, but really this man is fabulous and we feel so lucky to have a landlord willing to so patiently navigate us through our new home.

we spent the next few hours unloading this thing.



and the rest of the day unpacking all of these… ugh, my back hurts just looking at this picture!



the overwhelming feeling of seeing your things spread across the entire house has a way of playing with your mind sometimes. but somehow, we turned that mess of crazy into this.



and the kitchen is finished for now too.



so we took some time off today to explore alexandria. old town alexandria is my favorite spot we’ve seen so far. the colorful brick rowhouses connect precious little boutiques and coffee shops that i could spend hours exploring (and i will!). but we only took a little time down there today, because we got torn away by the allure of visiting mt. vernon this afternoon. here are a few ton of pictures for your viewing pleasure.















joey’s promised his mom a homemade video tour of our new house on zee blog, so you can look forward to that coming soon ;)