11 months and growing

holy smokes, you guys! this month! there is so much happening in this world, our country, and our family lately. to those topics i wish i had a magical salve, or at least larger arms to wrap the whole of humanity in the warmest of hugs. we're sending up prayers over here and doing our best to spread warmth and comfort. from our house to yours, we're sending you love.

it's also been a pretty big month for amelia, too. somehow, we're almost an entire year in with this one, and i can't begin to tell you all of the feelings i've got bubbling as i gear up to plan her first birthday party. this month, mia started crawling. as happens most months, the minute i hit "publish" on another of her monthly updates, she whips around the corner with some new magic trick she's been keeping in her sleeve. this month it was a shiny new front tooth, speed-crawling, stair and furniture climbing, and my personal not-favorite - spitting. mia loves to fill her tummy full, but once she's done you'll know it from the layer of colored spit she's showered you with between bites. spaghetti night is a particular favorite for mia, and we all walk away covered in a slick, orange dusting of spit by the end of it. her face is covered in beet juice, below, which is just as fun.

she bobs around the house on hands and knees, chasing one or both parents. and although she is fascinated with henry, she mostly lets him carry on without interference. if she catches him in his high chair, though, the story changes on a dime and she's below him immediately, like a puppy on the hunt for discarded scraps. except mia's interested only in unharnessed climbing up his high chair to pick at h's shorts or sneak one of the toys he's squirreled away beside him. sometimes, henry thinks mia's tiny fingers on his toes as she makes the climb up his high chair is hilarious and sometimes he snatches his foot away in agony. it's a gamble to engage with a hungry henry, and mia's more than willing to take the bet.

the other night, in a battle to keep mia from stark danger on our wooden staircase, we did a mini-tutorial on a safe decline from the top floor. henry was super excited to show mia how to "go down on your tummy, mia!" wrapped, as he usually is, in two or more blankets, no shirt, and soccer shorts, he slid down the stairs one by one while coaching mia on her form. "no, mia! on your tummy!" it was actually pretty endearing, and i wish i had it on video to brag/share with the world.

somehow, next month we will have a one year old in our home. i'll try hard not to focus on that reality until it comes, and in the mean time try desperately to remember the way mia growls to show us what a bear says, "aaahr", and that she loves open mouth kisses with her tongue mostly out. joey loves the way she'll happily dole out hugs on demand, although her generosity is waning just a bit as our requests for more and more hugs heat up.

she's still the sweetest around and we are so blessed that she's ours. happy 11 months, mia girl.

amelia and henry through the months.
amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

9 months

over the past week or so, amelia has been trying to cut no less than 6 teeth (at the same time!), and she's not thrilled. she's had some pretty high fevers and hasn't slept great through the night, so her mood throughout the day hasn't always been cheery. i think she's finally coming out on the other side of it all, thank goodness (for everyone!). 

mia's favorite thing to do at 9 months is chariot around in her mother's arms, steal her brother's toys and sacred blankets, and eat as much pizza as she can get her hands on. she's an enormous fan of long peaceful walks at dusk - long past bedtime - which is not all together a terrible thing because mother loves them too.

she has the most infectious smile there's ever been. when she's excited, she folds her body over on itself so that her nose touches her knees and her arms and legs splay straight out. she gets especially excited when henry wants to play with her or if mom or dad walk in the room. in the last week, she's learned to scoot on her tummy, and every now and then we'll catch her on her hands and knees with a terrified look on her face, as if she'd convinced herself for a second it would be a good idea to crawl and then she immediately regretted it.

for the sake of record, it feels necessary to share that the blue and white jumper in the stroller picture above is size 18 months, and mia will likely grow out of it before she'll have a chance to wear it again. she's quickly outgrowing every stitch of clothing she owns, and will no doubt be in size 5t before her brother, who is still safely in size 3t pants at 3-1/2.

over the past month, mia's determined personality has shone brightly. she knows what she wants, and will scream until everyone else knows it too. gone are the days when mia sat quietly in her jumper or laid next to henry in mesmerized silence. she is very quickly showing us the contender that she is, and we are (almost) all thrilled. henry needs a little time to adjust.

we love you sweet girl. happy 9 months!

amelia and henry through the months. 

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

a little letter to my (not so) little girl - 8 months

dear mia,

we call you mia because amelia rolls off the tongue less easily, although i still think your name - amelia elizabeth larson - is beautiful and suits you well. we started calling you sis when you were born to help henry understand who you were, and it stuck so quickly and so hard that we've struggled to move away from it. daddy still calls you sis sometimes and probably always will.

you are a strong sleeper, but prefer a space as dark as can be. you sleep in our bedroom, and i can hear you searching for your paci in the night. sometimes you struggle to find it, and although i wish you and i were both sound asleep i smile to myself as i walk over to you. your neck cranes up to find me in the dark, and when you know it's me you are alert and rarely settle back down without a snuggle and a short dance in the dark.

we think you are the sweetest baby sis there's ever been, and everyone loves when you're around. you are never still when you're awake. if you're standing, you're jumping. if you're sitting, you're reaching. if you're eating, your hands are moving. table food makes you especially excited, and when you see food coming you stretch your arms out until you are the letter "T", and you move your wrists around and around as if all of your excitement is wiggling through your arms and out your fingertips. you make short little bursts of sounds, like hiccuping exclamations of joy, while we sing songs about your yummy food and play peek-a-boo because we can't get enough of your bright smile.

if you are on the floor, you roll to your tummy, which is so round and too heavy for your short little arms. you are puzzled about how to lift yourself up with your arms, much less your knees. you spend a few minutes wiggling your limbs, stuck in one spot. your tummy is like a fulcrum, glued to the ground. and though you try with all your might to get your tummy to roll you to where you reach, you are like a roly-poly toy, stuck in one place with your arms and feet in the air.

your slanted eyes become thick hyphens when you laugh, and your wispy hair dances in the wind. when you are frustrated or sad, your throaty cries are echoey and persistent, your arms stretch out like branches on a tree, and your face crumples in gloom. there is no one in our house who can bear to hear you sad, and those cries are quickly soothed with daddy's goofy smile, henry's sweet songs, or snuggles from mama.

at eight months old, you are mostly quietly observing and reaching for the things you'd love to explore. i wonder about who you are behind your wide smile and gooshy cheeks. what are you thinking while henry skips past you and throws himself into a ball on the floor among his itty bitty toys and easter eggs (his newest obsession)? i wonder if you will be a boundless ball of energy and excitement like henry, or if you will be a quiet introvert with worlds of thought rolling around in your head. will you love to explore and spend summers with thick dirt beneath your fingernails or will you tell stories to your teddy bears while you serve them tea beneath a tree? i love to imagine that you will be all of these things and all of the things i couldn't possibly imagine. i imagine henry will drive you crazy and be your biggest supporter all at once. because he loves you, mia, more than you will ever know. we all do, sweetheart. and we are so proud that you are ours.

amelia and henry through the months. 

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

happy post-labor day

joey is out of town this week, which is a bitter/sweet mix of how.the.hell.am.i.going.to.do.this and i.totally.can.do.this. the reality is, i can. we will. but i seriously just googled "how to be happy in a face-paced life", because it will always be my struggle. and also, this happened almost a year ago, when all of this was just a speckle of a nightmare, left over from the last time. and so the emotions are running hot right now.

here, this might help.

or this one.

yep, that kind of helped.

he's always got a lot of work to do.

we went to this place on monday to celebrate the day of no-labor. we had the best time while we were there. it sort of felt like life was completely perfect just right where we were, in the way things fall into place so exquisitely sometimes, completely non-replicable and organic; when the moods are just right. the weather was hot, but just breezy enough to cut the sweat by a fourth or two. we covered all the land - spent a good amount of time in the chicken coop, paid close attention to the goats in lieu of the missing sheep (henry's current favorite), and rolled in any and all available dirt. 

in the end, we walked away with a red smattering of dust covering every square inch of our bare summer skin, caked on just so with salty sweat and hard earned grit. we left just as the mad dash to the roosteraunt carried the crowd in the opposite direction of the exit. within ten minutes into our drive home, henry was asleep. hat down, shielding his smudged face from the demanding summer sun.

when i think back on all of the weekends we've spent huddled up as a family of three, this memory is climbing the charts as one of my favorite. and really, who even knows why? except maybe it was the promise of fall lingering in the shadows and whispering at us in the breeze. or that we were gooshy about apple cider and newly stocked pumpkin butter and jams, henry's halloween costume, and joey's trip home for this on sunday. and probably, it doesn't matter. i'm just grateful we grabbed it while it was there.

i hope your short week is off to a great start!

fresh new start

we're desperate for some cool weather around here, this summer's worn us clean out. what is it about autumn that just washes it all away? fresh start, is what i think of, when the soupy heat finally lifts from my early morning commute.

this weekend, we're taking henry to a puppet show. eh anold, is what henry would call it, except it's a surprise, so henry has no idea he'll spend his saturday morning surrounded by farm animals on strings (i think...). i hope he loves it, i can already see his squirmy body working out all those squeals. being a mom is really the best. these days, he's been calling for the beloved "e.yiy.e.yiy.yoh" every blessed second of the live long day. it's on repeat in the car, on demand from dr. youtube the second we get home, and pulled from the shelf as soon as bedtime nears. only the craziest kind of parents would seek out the incessant tune when it could well be avoided. mom and pop crazy we be.

today, cody started chemo and radiation. what a segue. i do that a lot lately. in the middle of a scheduling conversation at work with a faculty member - something exciting, like which room we'll hold a class in next week.

"no not that room, we already have the 'cardiac and circulatory functions' session in that room." and also, cody starts treatment today. but i can't say that out loud, because how do you say that out loud without screaming?

did you feel that? did your chest tighten too? something must be wrong with my circulatory function.

"what should we do?" i ask.
"there's no other option?"
no! there's no other option!

except he means about his room, and i care less about his room than i've ever cared about anything.

i meant, literally, what are you going to do about this? you're a doctor. what. are. you. going. to. do. about. this?...

but there aren't any answers. none that are good enough.

a few months ago, we bought henry a potty chair, because we like to set ourselves up for months/years of impatiently waiting. it took a few tries, but we finally convinced him the plastic throne was safer than safe, and now he loves it! he'll sit/stand/sit/stand/put his foot inside the bowl for multiple minutes at a time. fully unclothed is how he prefers to take his potties. although, he hasn't actually done the pottying in the chair... yet. i emailed daycare yesterday to inquire, because if he's going to feign all this potty exuberance, we're going to need the people he loves most (not his parents) to hold him accountable. not five minutes after my email sent, daycare emailed back to let me know we were definitely within reason to start the potty training process (yay! and also, what?!).

joey brought out the potty chair to bring to daycare this morning, and henry demanded to sit (unclothed, with his milk, on the potty) for some morning silence before heading out. they arrived to a standing ovation at daycare, everyone cheered as the potty was brought in. henry stood confidently, slight smile, and enjoyed the cheers. we'll keep you posted on how it all shakes out ;)

and also, wear grey! :)

around here

 

singing. not choking (i swear it). 

once upon a time, i hated the grocery store. all kinds of decisions. all kinds of too high price tags for my measly pennies. when joey and i first moved in together, there were all these negotiations in the produce isle, like - 

"i really don't care, though." 

"no, i know that you care, you just think i won't like what you pick."

"just, tell me what you would have chosen if i wasn't here." 

"ugh! please, j.u.s.t.p.i.c.k?!"

grapes? green or red. maybe that was the decision. either way, what a dreaded waste of time.

and as riveting as those conversations sound, they were terribly irritating. and so, as essential as it is, the grocery store and i had a hard few years.

fast forward a zillion years, to this kraaaayyyyzzzay life, and it's grocery stores to which we are magnetized. because our grocery store has a splash park out front. and henry's barber. and a coffee shop across the street - although i have it on good authority there's a big bad starbucks coming in that's going to wipe our neighborhood coffee joint clean out (bummer!). it also has a cvs. just next door. don't park there - says the girl whose car was recently towed for a lofty price.

the last two weeks have been packed full of house guests. my mom for a week, joey's mom and our nine-year-old niece last week. then, my brother and his wife rolled in to bum around until cody was planned to start treatment yesterday at duke. then, plans changed. they left us on monday evening, and we've been ghosting around the house searching for ah-yee (holli) ever since.

we really hated to see them go! but we had the best time while they were here!

 

there are a lot of things i want to tell you about my brother, cody. he's 2.5 years older than me. when we were growing up he didn't go to bed one single night without first yelling through the wall at me - "good night, jamie. love you!" he got stitches approximately once per summer, because he was a maniac on recreational vehicles. i'm not sure he's any less of a maniac now, except he's banned from driving these days. he and i once spun (i'm talking complete 360) a ford explorer in the middle of a highway while pheasant hunting. that was scary. we did the same thing a few years later in the middle of the busiest street in our hometown because he was trying to pass a car on the way home from school, on ice. like i said, maniac. yet, he hates to get into a car with me if i'm driving. brothers. 

ten years ago, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. for the past ten years we've been giving the middle finger to brain tumor diagnoses, because he beat it. he was healed. and then one day, he wasn't anymore.

i've linked to my sister-in-law's blog a time or two before. i'll do it again probably a dozen or million times. they're in a hard fight right now; luckily, they've got a great team backing them.

if you want to help, there are lots of ways. here is a flyer for a fundraiser on september 13th. 

here, you can buy a shirt to show your support and also contribute to their treatment fund. there's also a link on the site to donate, in case you don't like grey shirts.

you can read all about it, here, but this family's story is that they're incredible people, with three incredible kids. and cody's got this terrifying disease with a disgusting prognosis. and they, like everyone on the planet, do not deserve this journey. but they're determined to give it everything they've got. thank you so much for any help and/or prayers you can send them.

we've moved!

 

we're finally in our new apartment, and we're starting to feel more settled than we've felt in almost a year. it's really sort of this confusing combination of relief and grief we're feeling with this move, because why didn't we move over here in the first place?

when we moved to alexandria, we were trying to align our location with the metro stop and my school. since i'm not teaching anymore, clearly that is much less of a priority for us, and there are metro stops all over the place! so we found this cute little apartment, and all of us are completely in love!

i hope your week has been as lovely as ours. have a great weekend!

 

4th of july

how was your 4th of july weekend? ours started out like this...

we woke up before 5, mostly because henry was awake, beckoning from his crib. we'd also been warned to cross the chesapeake bay bridge before 7 if we were headed to the beach, because the whole city leaves town for the beach the weekend of the 4th. we did. but we probably wouldn't have hit traffic if we'd left at noon, because arthur was in town to stir up some holiday fun.

we'd decided a couple of weeks ago to head to delaware for the holiday. there is a perfect little beach just within the bay called lewes (pronounced lewis) beach that was supposed to be a great mix of family friendly and low-key, perfect for us party animals. since the weather was on its worst behavior, we spent some time pacing the streets of lewes - a super charming little beach town that reminded us a lot of stillwater, mn, in a classy, southern kind of way. i loved it instantly, but joey (rightly) pointed out that to live there would be hell on the weekends as hoards of tourists flock to the streets and clog up the highways in and out of town. sorry lewes locals, you might be seeing more of the larsons in these parts - flocking your streets and clogging up your highways like the true tourists we'll always be. and our hunt for the perfect little east-coast town to settle down in is still on.

the beach was still too chilly for us on the day of the 4th, and we had a hotel reservation for the night in a town nearby, so we drove to the only other town in delaware we knew of to see about some independence day fun. hey'a dover, this one's for you.

we tracked down the excitement near the capitol building and settled in for the parade. but you know how henry tends to make his own plans, and by the time the first emergency responder crept past our slot on the parade route he'd had enough. so we packed up our dictator and hiked back to the hotel to settle in for the night. no fireworks for this crew when bedtime is 7:30 on the nose. next year, independence day. we're coming for you!

the next morning, h woke up on the wrong side of his cradle, so when we arrived at the beach he was in zero mood to paste on his beach smile and enjoy the waves. mandatory naps tend to solve all kinds of woes, though, so we strolled along the beach until the lapping water soothed him right to sleep.

and then, mr. happy was ready to play. he loved the sand - but mostly because there was so much of it mom and dad couldn't possibly keep him from getting a shovelful or 10 into his mouth within the first five minutes. we had a great day burying our feet in the sand and watching the kids run around us as they raced to the water and then rushed out before the waves reached their legs. next year, henry told us, he's going to run right to the water and swim all day. this weekend, though, he was more than tickled to watch the other crazy kids have all the fun.

i hope you had a great weekend too!

this is real

 

sometimes, we look a little haggard by the end of the day. and i've decided, it's awfully precious to capture these real moments too. on wednesday night, i picked huck up from daycare with a backseat stocked with beach towels, swim diapers, and 7 tons of miscellaneous swim paraphernalia so we could head straight to our perch at the pool, but before we made it to our street, he looked like this...

so i found a shady spot under a tree and parked for 40 minutes while h power-napped in preparation for an evening dip. and on nights like that, when we run our batteries dry splashing in the pool under a 95 degree heat, we end our days happily exhausted, and maybe a little worse for the wear. but we don't mind, and we get up the next day just so we can do it all over again the following evening, because somehow that piercing sun and sparkling water, in the company of my little boy, just fills me right up to the top.

happy monday

they're just the silliest

how are you? henry and i are still willing our immune systems to kick up the power, because our hacking coughs are hanging on for dear life, and we've become little night wanders over the deal. i hate, hate, hate the sound of his cough echoing through the monitor at night. protective mama bear, i guess, but i am utterly offended at the nerve of that virus racking his little body, interrupting his night and leaving lingering eye matter in his lashes each morning. adios, spring colds. we're going to pretend you're not getting us down, because we've got hot season tickets to the pool across the street, and you know we won't be letting a few coughs keep us from pounding a million laps in the kiddie pool for the next two months. check back for a dozen pictures of my butter ball in his one-piece.