an ode to single parents

it's really not my intent to sound as if being henry's mom is anything except positively fulfilling and incredible, because it is. right now he's nestled snuggly in the crook of my arm wearing these great light blue fleece jams with forest animals on them (which suits him perfectly), and i can't think of a single second in my life i would replace this moment with. but we both have colds, the kind of cold that rips at your throat while you're trying to hush your crying child and produces messy sneezes and stubborn stuffy noses. we had a really rocky night last night, henry and me, nursing our coughs and fighting sleep like it's soothing arms were just the worst place to land. so instead we bounced, because my little huck can just melt himself right into a good bounce. and then we paced until there really was nothing left of us. and then we collapsed together on the couch surrounded by tissues and blankets and deep, heavy, raspy breathing.

it's in moments like those, when the mama magic is depleted and i can't tell if that dampness on our blanket came from his tears or mine, i pray long and hard for mommies and daddies who do it all alone. because henry has a daddy who spends his days at work and his nights at home bouncing and soothing, wiping and changing, patting and cuddling. he leaves us every morning with showers of kisses, and brings us all the cough drops and aspirators we could ever need. h and i really are the luckiest. and we know it. and if we didn't have joey, we would just be the saddest versions of our very tired selves. but there are moms out there, and dads!, without their best friend right there to make it all okay. they take showers and clean their houses, go to the grocery store and the post office. they find ways to get their hair cut (which i desperately need and still haven't figured out a way to make happen!). and it's a genuine mystery to me how they do it all without the help of a spouse (or significant other). huck is my true love, but he takes it from me, you know? the core piece of myself who used to squish into one day the elements of daily living one must perform as a functioning adult. i'll get it back one of these days, god willing, but lately i've resembled the sloppy woman you've seen at fast food places with ketchup in her hair and mismatched socks. i'm not proud.

so in this moment, while my eyes are dry and my hands are full of henry, his saline nose drops, and a spit-up-laced blanket, i thank god for henry's daddy, my saving grace, my husband. because even when i'm looking like this (really good!), he's still always here for us, his family. and gosh darn it do we love him :)