11 months and growing

holy smokes, you guys! this month! there is so much happening in this world, our country, and our family lately. to those topics i wish i had a magical salve, or at least larger arms to wrap the whole of humanity in the warmest of hugs. we're sending up prayers over here and doing our best to spread warmth and comfort. from our house to yours, we're sending you love.

it's also been a pretty big month for amelia, too. somehow, we're almost an entire year in with this one, and i can't begin to tell you all of the feelings i've got bubbling as i gear up to plan her first birthday party. this month, mia started crawling. as happens most months, the minute i hit "publish" on another of her monthly updates, she whips around the corner with some new magic trick she's been keeping in her sleeve. this month it was a shiny new front tooth, speed-crawling, stair and furniture climbing, and my personal not-favorite - spitting. mia loves to fill her tummy full, but once she's done you'll know it from the layer of colored spit she's showered you with between bites. spaghetti night is a particular favorite for mia, and we all walk away covered in a slick, orange dusting of spit by the end of it. her face is covered in beet juice, below, which is just as fun.

she bobs around the house on hands and knees, chasing one or both parents. and although she is fascinated with henry, she mostly lets him carry on without interference. if she catches him in his high chair, though, the story changes on a dime and she's below him immediately, like a puppy on the hunt for discarded scraps. except mia's interested only in unharnessed climbing up his high chair to pick at h's shorts or sneak one of the toys he's squirreled away beside him. sometimes, henry thinks mia's tiny fingers on his toes as she makes the climb up his high chair is hilarious and sometimes he snatches his foot away in agony. it's a gamble to engage with a hungry henry, and mia's more than willing to take the bet.

the other night, in a battle to keep mia from stark danger on our wooden staircase, we did a mini-tutorial on a safe decline from the top floor. henry was super excited to show mia how to "go down on your tummy, mia!" wrapped, as he usually is, in two or more blankets, no shirt, and soccer shorts, he slid down the stairs one by one while coaching mia on her form. "no, mia! on your tummy!" it was actually pretty endearing, and i wish i had it on video to brag/share with the world.

somehow, next month we will have a one year old in our home. i'll try hard not to focus on that reality until it comes, and in the mean time try desperately to remember the way mia growls to show us what a bear says, "aaahr", and that she loves open mouth kisses with her tongue mostly out. joey loves the way she'll happily dole out hugs on demand, although her generosity is waning just a bit as our requests for more and more hugs heat up.

she's still the sweetest around and we are so blessed that she's ours. happy 11 months, mia girl.

amelia and henry through the months.
amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

amelia at 10 months

my mia girl. she's got a lot she's thinking about lately. she's teething, scooting, learning how to crawl/stand/talk/eat/be a human. she's also been tasked with the enormous job of navigating her relationship with her brother. last night henry was feeding mia string cheese, in the smallest of bites, with ever so much care. amelia just watched him, skeptical as he placed each piece in her mouth. she opened gingerly for each bite, both eyes locked on henry's face. is he joking right now? and then, without warning, he chomped off the top half of the whole stick, did a little dance (i'd like to think he wasn't taunting her...), and threw the rest of the stick on the stove - which wasn't hot, thankfully. ah!, she must have thought. that's the brother i know! he's crazy!

she scoots around the house like she's scavenging for berries. always curious, in search of some juicy pile of loot she can dig apart and taste before the rest of the humans in the home discover her and remove her from her prize. she stands on wobbly legs (well supported by a parent or piece of furniture) and still can't figure out the mechanics of walking. one foot in front of the other looks more like one pointed toe out and a lot of wobbly legs. it's one step forward and a half a step back, but she's catching on more each day.

she's got two bottom teeth and three on top. we're waiting patiently for the gap in her front teeth fill in, and lately her mood tells us it won't be long at all (teething is the worst!).

she sleeps like perfection, nice long naps and straight through the night. i am currently pondering a way to teach henry to do the same (even at 3.5 yrs old he has never consistently slept through the night). she doesn't love the car, but as long as she has a parent close by and they are willing to sing song after song, she will tolerate her position in the car seat. her paci will resolve just about any disappointment.

as i say every month, and will say again and again, my mia is an absolute joy to have in our lives. her smile and shouting conversations keep us giggling all day. we are ever so in love with you sweet heart. happy 10 months!

amelia and henry through the months.
amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

9 months

over the past week or so, amelia has been trying to cut no less than 6 teeth (at the same time!), and she's not thrilled. she's had some pretty high fevers and hasn't slept great through the night, so her mood throughout the day hasn't always been cheery. i think she's finally coming out on the other side of it all, thank goodness (for everyone!). 

mia's favorite thing to do at 9 months is chariot around in her mother's arms, steal her brother's toys and sacred blankets, and eat as much pizza as she can get her hands on. she's an enormous fan of long peaceful walks at dusk - long past bedtime - which is not all together a terrible thing because mother loves them too.

she has the most infectious smile there's ever been. when she's excited, she folds her body over on itself so that her nose touches her knees and her arms and legs splay straight out. she gets especially excited when henry wants to play with her or if mom or dad walk in the room. in the last week, she's learned to scoot on her tummy, and every now and then we'll catch her on her hands and knees with a terrified look on her face, as if she'd convinced herself for a second it would be a good idea to crawl and then she immediately regretted it.

for the sake of record, it feels necessary to share that the blue and white jumper in the stroller picture above is size 18 months, and mia will likely grow out of it before she'll have a chance to wear it again. she's quickly outgrowing every stitch of clothing she owns, and will no doubt be in size 5t before her brother, who is still safely in size 3t pants at 3-1/2.

over the past month, mia's determined personality has shone brightly. she knows what she wants, and will scream until everyone else knows it too. gone are the days when mia sat quietly in her jumper or laid next to henry in mesmerized silence. she is very quickly showing us the contender that she is, and we are (almost) all thrilled. henry needs a little time to adjust.

we love you sweet girl. happy 9 months!

amelia and henry through the months. 

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

a little letter to my (not so) little girl - 8 months

dear mia,

we call you mia because amelia rolls off the tongue less easily, although i still think your name - amelia elizabeth larson - is beautiful and suits you well. we started calling you sis when you were born to help henry understand who you were, and it stuck so quickly and so hard that we've struggled to move away from it. daddy still calls you sis sometimes and probably always will.

you are a strong sleeper, but prefer a space as dark as can be. you sleep in our bedroom, and i can hear you searching for your paci in the night. sometimes you struggle to find it, and although i wish you and i were both sound asleep i smile to myself as i walk over to you. your neck cranes up to find me in the dark, and when you know it's me you are alert and rarely settle back down without a snuggle and a short dance in the dark.

we think you are the sweetest baby sis there's ever been, and everyone loves when you're around. you are never still when you're awake. if you're standing, you're jumping. if you're sitting, you're reaching. if you're eating, your hands are moving. table food makes you especially excited, and when you see food coming you stretch your arms out until you are the letter "T", and you move your wrists around and around as if all of your excitement is wiggling through your arms and out your fingertips. you make short little bursts of sounds, like hiccuping exclamations of joy, while we sing songs about your yummy food and play peek-a-boo because we can't get enough of your bright smile.

if you are on the floor, you roll to your tummy, which is so round and too heavy for your short little arms. you are puzzled about how to lift yourself up with your arms, much less your knees. you spend a few minutes wiggling your limbs, stuck in one spot. your tummy is like a fulcrum, glued to the ground. and though you try with all your might to get your tummy to roll you to where you reach, you are like a roly-poly toy, stuck in one place with your arms and feet in the air.

your slanted eyes become thick hyphens when you laugh, and your wispy hair dances in the wind. when you are frustrated or sad, your throaty cries are echoey and persistent, your arms stretch out like branches on a tree, and your face crumples in gloom. there is no one in our house who can bear to hear you sad, and those cries are quickly soothed with daddy's goofy smile, henry's sweet songs, or snuggles from mama.

at eight months old, you are mostly quietly observing and reaching for the things you'd love to explore. i wonder about who you are behind your wide smile and gooshy cheeks. what are you thinking while henry skips past you and throws himself into a ball on the floor among his itty bitty toys and easter eggs (his newest obsession)? i wonder if you will be a boundless ball of energy and excitement like henry, or if you will be a quiet introvert with worlds of thought rolling around in your head. will you love to explore and spend summers with thick dirt beneath your fingernails or will you tell stories to your teddy bears while you serve them tea beneath a tree? i love to imagine that you will be all of these things and all of the things i couldn't possibly imagine. i imagine henry will drive you crazy and be your biggest supporter all at once. because he loves you, mia, more than you will ever know. we all do, sweetheart. and we are so proud that you are ours.

amelia and henry through the months. 

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

amelia elizabeth, we love you very much - 7 months

amelia wakes up every morning by slamming her feet against her crib mattress as if in announcement - alright guys, let's roll! henry used to do the same thing every morning. it's maybe a strange thing to stick out as important, but because h and a are so different in just about every single way this tiny similarity seems precious to me.  

when mia was born, henry was very cautious of the extra time and attention the strange baby stole from him, and for the most part mia was just quiet and small enough that he could ignore that she existed much of the time. if she cried, henry cried out in agony from the noise. if mia got too close to him or his things, h recoiled quickly, snatched his precious toys, and then carried on with his business in a corner somewhere safely removed from the intruder. his eyes were usually locked on a set of toys or the tv instead of bothering to peek at mia. 

these days, h seems to find mia just slightly entertaining and worth a glance here and there. when she cries, henry soothes her with a song or an aggressive pet on her head. when she laughs, henry tries to tickle her under the chin to make her giggle more. for the most part, he isn't bothered when mia touches his things or plays with his toys. he still keeps himself at a healthy distance from any of mia spit cloths, obviously, but he's fascinated when we change her diaper and he stands close by when she's having a bath or eating solid food. when we're playing or if mia gets a little fussy at night, i sing to her a silly little rhyme with her name in it that instantly makes her face light up. last night as we were taking some pictures, henry came in and started singing her song, and my heart exploded. 

at night, henry tells mia he loves her and in the morning he sits nearby as she drinks her bottle or jumps in her favorite spot. 

mia eats some solid food these days. she prefers apples and sweet potatoes, and she refuses bananas all together. last week she gave up drinking her bottle during the day and started drinking a few more bottles through the night. this week, she's back on schedule with her daily bottle in-take and last night she slept all night long without a drink. she's been trying to cut teeth for over a month, and every now and then she'll have a day spent drooling and grinding her gums - which is a sort of disgusting thing she does that makes her look like a very serious bubble gum chewer - and we'll be convinced a tooth is coming, only to find sweet little pink gums and no sign of a tooth just a few days later. UPDATE: mia is getting her first tooth! we found one on her 7 month birthday (lower right central incisor).

she loves to be outside and would happily swing for hours at the park while henry mills about finding worms and sticks. 

riding in brother's three wheeler is the bees knees. although, you'll have to take my word for it, because we caught her mid-frown in this photo i guess.

i always have trouble ending these monthly posts without droning on and on about how amelia is the most amazing, well-tempered baby on the planet, because she really is. and every month gets better and better with this one. i love you more every second, mia girl. happy 7 months!

amelia and henry through the months. in case you care to see. 

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

Mia is 6 Months!

 

despite her stuffy nose and yucky cough, she smiles. always. we kept her home with us two days last week, and on thursday i took her to see the doctor. it was croup, we decided, and we got by with snuggles, pain medication, and a steamy bathroom. not the way we wanted to welcome in her half-year birthday, but we're so glad she seems to be on the mend this week.

she weighs 18lbs 2.5oz. she's 27 inches long. yesterday, she tried pears for the first time and ate them as though she's been doing it for years. she also slept in her crib all night long - an enormous victory for someone who's made her devotion to her rock-n-play fervently known since birth. she's getting so strong, and she uses her strength to pull her brother's blanket - which he does not love. at all. - and sit up, almost by herself.  she's got a determined soul, one i imagine to be peppered with stubborn spunk and independence like her brother (and mom and dad, if we're being honest). 

her daddy makes her smile most these days, but when she's sick or wakes in the night, it's mama she needs. she is almost certainly soothed with the one verse of "row your boat" that we know (are there more versus??), but one must sing it on repeat. even henry has come to rely on a verse of some tune or another to soothe his sister when she starts to cry. "a - b - c - d - e - f - g," i'll hear him singing from the kitchen as i rush to make mia a bottle. "... gently down the stream...," he croons from his perch on the couch, with what appears to be his full attention locked on the television screen. "if you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream. ahh! row, row, row your boat...," he continues, until he hears her cries subside and his full attention is once again devoted entirely to the characters' voices on tv or the challenge of standing all of his plastic ninjas side by side on the ottoman. 

mia's favorite thing to do these days, it seems, is to bounce. she's got an endless compulsion to roll to her tummy immediately when she's laid down on her back, which almost always leaves her dismayed. he brother is completely fascinating, even more so because he so rarely acknowledges her. she giggles when she's tickled - just below her neck line or on her legs - and she loves to be thrown in the air. we're still waiting for the belly laughs we got with henry at 6 months, but this little gem takes things at her own pace. 

we love you, baby girl. you've made our year already!

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

amelia at five months

just a few pictures to scatter about in the wind. tiny little bits of color that represent our home, i suppose, but of course not really. because how do you capture a home in 4x6's? the home lies somewhere beneath the layers of color, woven into the rugs and splattered a bit on the walls.

"my like our new house," henry says one day after school. "what day we going to go back to our old house?"  

"we're not going back to our old house, babe. we live in st. paul now."

"when we going to go back to dc?"

"we live here now. do you like living here?"

"yeah, me do!"

when we get home from daycare pick ups - henry from preschool, amelia from our sweet friends' house - we mill about settling into borrowed routines from our past life in dc. henry understands that his role in it all is to take off his shoes and coat and find something to do until dinner. on some days he finds the responsibility much easier to handle than on other days. 

"my listened at school! now me watch tv?!"

"just wait henry. can you bring me your shoes, buddy?"

sometimes he does. sometimes, he throws his shoes as far as he can get them instead. 

"what's daddy doing?"

"he's still working babe. stay upstairs, he'll be done in a little bit."

"my just going to give him a kiss and a hug."

"no, henry. please stay upstairs. what do you think we should have for supper tonight?"

sometimes he stays upstairs. sometimes, he can't take the wait and he pads down the carpeted stairs towards joey's office instead.

life in st. paul is breezy and sweet. no rush hour traffic to contend with. our family is a (relatively) short drive away. we are blessed. we are so content here.

two days ago, amelia turned five months old. she makes us all deliriously happy. sometimes i wonder if i developed the opposite of postpartum depression when amelia was born. i can't get enough of her gummy smile. i miss her constantly, even if she's just in the other room. she flips immediately to her tummy if ever laid down on her back, and she sleeps like an absolute angel. she falls asleep at almost exactly 6pm every night - just an hour after we're home. she usually wakes around 3:00am for a bottle, but she's back down - tummy plump - 10 minutes later.

in a month's time she will have been here half a year, and i can hardly stand to think how quickly it's all gone. the long days and nights i remember with henry have turned so quickly into a blur of giggles and hurried week nights with two precious babes i have never felt so lucky to know - much less mother. life is such a crazy whirl of bitter and sweet, and i am constantly floored by the flood of emotion that comes when i think of how lucky we are.

amelia at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months.
henry at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, and 13 months.

amelia elizabeth

amelia (mia) was born september 26 at 12:11am. she was 7 pounds, 5 ounces and 20 inches long. when they told us she was here, she immediately shouted back at them with blood curdling screams that lasted for well over 10 minutes. she was ours, she knew how to scream :)

my birth experience with amelia resonates with me as a relatively calm, peaceful one. i was scheduled for a c-section on september 26, but my water broke the night before. my mom had just flown in to town to stay with henry, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect. when joey and i arrived at the hospital, they ushered us immediately to labor and delivery, and i felt like we were on a smooth little amusement park ride from there until we came out the other side in a sweet corner hospital room with a baby girl in our arms as our fuzzy prize.

since mia's birth, we've kept our little family of 4 as active as can be. joey went back to work the day we got home from the hospital. henry went back to daycare the following day, and a week after we got home from the hospital we hopped on a plane to minneapolis to spend some time with joey's family.

somehow, through the fog of midnight feedings, caring for a spicy-as-ever henry, and trying like crazy to keep up with the laundry that is now laced with spit-up and pink - so much pink! - we've already found ourselves a month in to this new version of life. last night, the one month anniversary of her birth, mia slept 5 hours. total. which was a not so welcomed surprise for her mother, because generally she's a pretty decent sleeper. last week she decided she'd only nurse a select number of times in a day, and all other nutrients would need to come directly from a bottle - thank you very much. she's relatively tolerant of her brother, and the reciprocal is probably true... sometimes. although, in the first days mia was home henry wished her back into mom's tummy several hundred times, and he can never be trusted for more than a fraction of a second alone in the same room with his beloved baby sis for fear that his "love" will translate into a violent display of non-affection/torture.

in celebration of mia's one month of life, here are some traditional pictures (link: henry at 1 month) in a white onesie for comparison.

what would henry say?

the other day i saw a list on one of the blogs i read obsessively of questions to ask your kids about their parents. although most of the questions were probably better suited for older kids, i thought it would be fun to see what henry could articulate at two-and-a-half. here's what he had to say:

how old is mom? one

is mom big or small? big

is mom a boy or a girl? girl

what color does mom like? pink*

where does mom work? i don't know either

what makes mom happy? me!

what makes mom sad? daddy time-out me

he did surprising well, so i thought i'd get crazy and ask him a few questions about henry -

how old is henry? one

is henry a boy or a girl? boy

what is henry's favorite color? blue... no, red

which park is the best park? the rock one**

what do you want to eat for supper? mac'n cheese

bath or shower? shower

is henry big or small? small

what do you like to watch on tv? um, i don't know either. dinosaur train.

who does henry love? mommy and daddy. and grandma too.

who loves henry? daddy. grandma and mommy.

*not even a little bit
**you didn't see any rocks? look closer, there are "mountains" that lead up to the parking lot in the background of the picture. joey is convinced mountain climbing on those rocks will be henry's demise.

on tuesday, henry had his 2-1/2 year check with his pediatrician. he weighs almost 30 pounds, and slid in right around the 50% mark in height, weight, and bmi. at 2-1/2 he's talking constantly. he's obsessed with dinosaurs and snakes. he's got a pet caterpillar, with which he's surprisingly gentle, but he doesn't understand why the caterpillar can't hang out on the couch with him to watch "tee-b". he still needs mom or dad to read at least 5 books before bed, and nothing on this earth will separate him from a blanket or 5 at night.

this weekend my sweet friend and her husband are coming to dc. she and i lived together in college and spent the better part of our senior year in high school attached at the hip, so she's my girl. i'm excited to spend more than an hour or two with her, which has been the max since we both had kids and i moved away.

have a great one!

i love you really much

the other night as joey and henry nestled in for bedtime books in the wooden rocking chair beside henry's bedroom window, i leaned in past h's blue sippy cup to give him a kiss and to tell him one last time before leaving them alone, "i love you, henry." and in the same way he always does, he continued to drink his milk as if his very life depended on each gulp, focused hard on the page joey was about to start reading, and stole the quickest of breaths to mumble, "wruv ew," before latching back onto his cup and ushering me out of his room with the turn of his head. i smiled as i got up to turn around, and took one more glance at my handsome little boy in his fleece onsie 'jamas, buried beneath his treasured blanket, and stacked on top of my husband - maybe the most precious site. and then, out of nowhere, henry's head arched back up. he unlatched his milk and peered at me with worried, sincere eyes and said, "i wruv ew wriddy much." he extended the last word, "mu-uch," morphing the monosyllabic, simple word into an emotion-soaked, somewhat forlorn two syllables. it reminded me of the way he sounds describing how the little monkey cries when he falls off the bed, "he's wriddy sa-ad."

i stopped, stunned at how his eyes seemed to carry so much meaning in those moments. stunned at how grown up he feels at just two and a half. stunned at how much i can love someone so enormously who seems to take every last ounce of sanity and energy from my days.

there are no words to aptly describe the feeling of being a mom. i think that's why so many people try consistently, almost religiously, across a child's life to put into words the meaning of motherhood or the emotions that swing in an out of a single day spent mothering. each stage of childhood feels like a new phenomenon, waiting to be documented with complex specification. so as not to forget. so an not to lose sight of even a sliver of detail. because even as we live it we know how fleeting and precious the moments are.

for me, the highs and lows of motherhood extend to such extremes it sometimes feels like henry and i are on the most insane roller coaster, and someone (most likely me) irresponsibly gave henry the all-powerful throttle. most nights, it takes all remaining energy that i have to brush my teeth and fall hard into bed - long before most would consider it a reasonable hour for sleeping. i don't take the time these days to reflect on the magic of it all. i forget that the hard days turn into the very days i will always yearn for, and inevitably some day ache for.

in that moment, as i sputtered in place, staring in awe at my little boy, it was all i could do not to pick him up, kiss his gooshy cheeks, and hold on to him in an absurd attempt to capture everything he was in that second with just my arms. instead, i kissed him one last time and brushed his gooshy cheek with my hand and thanked god for the incredible gift of that little boy.

henry, my stinker, i love you really much, too.

pssst... quick update

henry lives for a select number of not.too.guilty (but he should be) pleasures in his life: youtube videos of "halloween", eating lollipops until his face and hands are smeared with 4 shades of sticky sugar, and retrieving boxes from our concierge. his requests for all three fly from his mouth on incessant repeat all the blessed way home from daycare. and lest you get the sinful impression that we tele-parents let him drown in sugar baths and television marathons whenever the prince pleases, i assure you that is not the case. but lately, h has discovered the joys of snapchat - where he is straight mystified by the collection of face and costume modifications he can make within seconds (see video above). and that! that is the kind of real.guilty.pleasure i can get behind any time of day he asks.

h - 'see pictures?'
j - 'certainly, my son. for as long as your paper thin patience/attention span will allow.'

last week, the snow came to dc in a big bad way, and so we were locked snuggled  at home with the rest of the dc crazies for the entire weekend.

not my photo credit, and also this is what e.v.e.r.y street looked like for days!

as i'm sure you heard, dc/northern virginia do not do snow well, and the folks hiking down this main vein in arlington are a testimant to just that. to be fair, the sidewalks are buried in 2 feet of snow here, so the street is where the walking is going to get done.

but then, as it does, the snow melted and we took off our jackets to play at the park amidst the snow piles and dripping puddles.

in less than nine days, my mom and her husband are shipping us all away on a disney cruise of a lifetime, and we're all just wiggling with excitement. how lovely does this sound right now?

stay warm!

happy post-labor day

joey is out of town this week, which is a bitter/sweet mix of how.the.hell.am.i.going.to.do.this and i.totally.can.do.this. the reality is, i can. we will. but i seriously just googled "how to be happy in a face-paced life", because it will always be my struggle. and also, this happened almost a year ago, when all of this was just a speckle of a nightmare, left over from the last time. and so the emotions are running hot right now.

here, this might help.

or this one.

yep, that kind of helped.

he's always got a lot of work to do.

we went to this place on monday to celebrate the day of no-labor. we had the best time while we were there. it sort of felt like life was completely perfect just right where we were, in the way things fall into place so exquisitely sometimes, completely non-replicable and organic; when the moods are just right. the weather was hot, but just breezy enough to cut the sweat by a fourth or two. we covered all the land - spent a good amount of time in the chicken coop, paid close attention to the goats in lieu of the missing sheep (henry's current favorite), and rolled in any and all available dirt. 

in the end, we walked away with a red smattering of dust covering every square inch of our bare summer skin, caked on just so with salty sweat and hard earned grit. we left just as the mad dash to the roosteraunt carried the crowd in the opposite direction of the exit. within ten minutes into our drive home, henry was asleep. hat down, shielding his smudged face from the demanding summer sun.

when i think back on all of the weekends we've spent huddled up as a family of three, this memory is climbing the charts as one of my favorite. and really, who even knows why? except maybe it was the promise of fall lingering in the shadows and whispering at us in the breeze. or that we were gooshy about apple cider and newly stocked pumpkin butter and jams, henry's halloween costume, and joey's trip home for this on sunday. and probably, it doesn't matter. i'm just grateful we grabbed it while it was there.

i hope your short week is off to a great start!

fresh new start

we're desperate for some cool weather around here, this summer's worn us clean out. what is it about autumn that just washes it all away? fresh start, is what i think of, when the soupy heat finally lifts from my early morning commute.

this weekend, we're taking henry to a puppet show. eh anold, is what henry would call it, except it's a surprise, so henry has no idea he'll spend his saturday morning surrounded by farm animals on strings (i think...). i hope he loves it, i can already see his squirmy body working out all those squeals. being a mom is really the best. these days, he's been calling for the beloved "e.yiy.e.yiy.yoh" every blessed second of the live long day. it's on repeat in the car, on demand from dr. youtube the second we get home, and pulled from the shelf as soon as bedtime nears. only the craziest kind of parents would seek out the incessant tune when it could well be avoided. mom and pop crazy we be.

today, cody started chemo and radiation. what a segue. i do that a lot lately. in the middle of a scheduling conversation at work with a faculty member - something exciting, like which room we'll hold a class in next week.

"no not that room, we already have the 'cardiac and circulatory functions' session in that room." and also, cody starts treatment today. but i can't say that out loud, because how do you say that out loud without screaming?

did you feel that? did your chest tighten too? something must be wrong with my circulatory function.

"what should we do?" i ask.
"there's no other option?"
no! there's no other option!

except he means about his room, and i care less about his room than i've ever cared about anything.

i meant, literally, what are you going to do about this? you're a doctor. what. are. you. going. to. do. about. this?...

but there aren't any answers. none that are good enough.

a few months ago, we bought henry a potty chair, because we like to set ourselves up for months/years of impatiently waiting. it took a few tries, but we finally convinced him the plastic throne was safer than safe, and now he loves it! he'll sit/stand/sit/stand/put his foot inside the bowl for multiple minutes at a time. fully unclothed is how he prefers to take his potties. although, he hasn't actually done the pottying in the chair... yet. i emailed daycare yesterday to inquire, because if he's going to feign all this potty exuberance, we're going to need the people he loves most (not his parents) to hold him accountable. not five minutes after my email sent, daycare emailed back to let me know we were definitely within reason to start the potty training process (yay! and also, what?!).

joey brought out the potty chair to bring to daycare this morning, and henry demanded to sit (unclothed, with his milk, on the potty) for some morning silence before heading out. they arrived to a standing ovation at daycare, everyone cheered as the potty was brought in. henry stood confidently, slight smile, and enjoyed the cheers. we'll keep you posted on how it all shakes out ;)

and also, wear grey! :)