remember back in january when i shared a tiny hint about something new coming up for us, and then again in march i asked for your thoughts because finally things were starting to iron themselves out and the job was "officially" mine… but not really, because it's still not even officially mine? don't worry, i wouldn't expect you to uncover the encryption of any of this… so let me start over!
when we moved to virginia, i took a job teaching sixth grade math in a school district that was considered "at risk". the math department was in shambles, performance scores were abysmal, and the school was without a superintendent. but i have a master's degree, and more than anything i wanted to teach math and provide for my growing family, so i took the job with excitement and a teeny bit of apprehension (because self-doubt is my middle name). but when i finally got into the position, surrounded by the most helpful and supportive team of teachers and administrators i could ask for, i crumbled. i was absolutely defeated every single day by the very real challenges that come with teaching in such a hurting district. my heart was broken for the students i couldn't reach and for the students who stared at me with wide, eager eyes from all corners of the room who couldn't reach me. my days started at 5 am and ended most days after 6, and every breathing second was focused on finding a way to morph sixth grade math lessons into blankets of strength and knowledge for a group of kids whose everyday thoughts literally consisted of finding a place to sleep, food to eat, and someone to care. and although to the very soles of my feet i cared, and maybe because of that, i chose to walk away from my classroom for good when henry was born. because i knew that i couldn't go on with my heart shattered every single day and be the kind of mom and wife i needed to be for my family. but the move wasn't taken lightly. joey and i spent so many sleepless nights going over and over the decision that we got more sleep with a newborn than we did those few months i was teaching.
i don't, even for a second, regret my decision to move on from teaching at this point in my life. i am a teacher at heart, and will always crave the feeling i get when i'm in a classroom, but now is not the time. here is not the place. so i gave myself two weeks to bond and cuddle my brand new baby, and then i began searching for a job that would help support us through the next chapter in our lives. while we lived in saint paul i worked for the medical school at the university of minnesota supporting the curriculum department and managing a few classes for first and second year medical students. i really enjoyed the work i did at the u, and so i focused my job search in virginia on something similar at one of the many universities in the dc area. about a month after henry was born, i was called to interview for a position in the medical school at george washington university (gw), and almost a month after the interview - still having heard nothing except, "the decision is still in the works," - we gave up hope that the job was mine. but finally at the end of january, i got a call from the medical school. they told me the job wasn't mine, i didn't have the experience they were looking for, but they were intrigued with what i had to offer them. miraculously, gw had decided to create a position for me supervising a group of people who essentially hold the same job i had held at the university of minnesota. i was honored they'd considered me for the position and so very anxious to start as soon as possible. but oh the red tape we've had to cross since that phone call in late january!
fast-forward to today, four months after my first interview at gw, and i am still waiting for the red tape to clear. i'm told the position will start in two weeks. but i could count on two hands the number of times i've been told that in only the last two months. meanwhile, our daycare had all but given up on us in march, so we were forced to start henry part-time to hold our spot (while paying full-full-full-full time prices. think double-rent-sized payments!) while i am still pacing the floors waiting. and waiting.
through it all, believe me, i am not feeling sorry for myself! in fact, the very opposite! we are blessed beyond belief that we were able to stock away a healthy enough savings fund while i was teaching to get us through this financially straining time. it helps that we are still able to get by without formula (thank god!), because henry's allergies would force us into a desperately costly variety! and an entertainment budget with an infant is essentially zero dollars :) not to mention some very special guardian angels (you know who you are!) have kept our growing babe in high fashion since birth. somehow, wondrously, everything has fallen into place.
in the end, i guess i needed to share this part of our journey to update those who've patiently waited for answers, or prayed for us from afar. but also to acknowledge how overwhelmingly blessed we've been. we moved to virginia with very high hopes and sparkling (blinded) eyes, and we've been surprised to find out how very real life can be. and looking back it's almost humorous to remember how rosy our blissful life once was, but encouraging to acknowledge how very blissful and fulfilling it still is. this life, it's such a crazy ride. and my two boys and i, we're anxious to uncover what's around the next corner. henry hopes it's a puppy ;)
thanks, as always, for reading.
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