to birth a henry (part 1)

impatiently waiting for strong contractions. silly girl!

there are moments in life that hang in the air like the smoke shadows fireworks leave in the sky long after they've sparkled. henry's birth will always be one of those moments for me. and although i will try to capture the magnitude of that night, i will inevitably fail to accurately describe even a sliver of what it felt like to be there birthing a new life, bringing new breath into a room full of bright lights and sterile metal.

for two weeks leading up to my due date, my midwife confirmed noticeable and progressive cervical dilation.  i was becoming increasingly effaced and babe was head down and engaged by week 40. all good signs that birth was coming... soon! yet, it wasn't. i was already almost a week late and babe was just getting bigger. so at my last prenatal appointment (5 days past my due date) we scheduled my induction date for friday, nov. 8, exactly 1 week past due date. i couldn't wait.

my mom flew in on wednesday night and we chatted over pizza while making plans for the following day. we still had at least 35ish hours to kill before anything with babe was going to move ahead, and this girl was restless. the next morning joey woke early for work, and since sleeping in our bed with a 50 pound bowling ball in my stomach had become about as much fun as sleeping on a tree trunk i woke up with him and headed to the bathroom (for the 20th time in the last 12 hours). when joey got out of the shower we chatted about christmas logistics, our induction the following morning, and plans for the evening with my mom. before he left i let it slip that i felt like maybe... perhaps... but actually probably not... my water could have just broken. of course joey semi-panicked and requested that i call the doctor, which i did after sending joey off to work with a kiss and promise that there was (probably) absolutely no chance my water had broken and that i would keep him updated once i called our midwife.

the call to our midwife resulted in me pessimistically driving my enormous self to the hospital, just in case. baby hadn't moved since i woke up and that increased her concern, especially if my water had really broken. because i didn't want to jinx it, i left our packed hospital bags at home but didn't waste any time getting to the hospital. in the back of my mind i knew baby was fine and my scheduled induction for the following morning would be the true start of the labor i was sooooo ready to have.

i checked in at labor and delivery with my tail between my legs. i'd heard and read so many stories of women who show up at the hospital far before they need to and get promptly shown to the door. to keep me moving towards the l&d desk, i replayed my midwife's words in my head and tried hard to convince myself it was worth knowing the status of baby, who still hadn't moved all morning. after check in, i was surprised to be shown to labor triage and thrown into a gown. liquids were drawn, fetal heart rate monitors were hooked up, and i texted joey a quick status update. baby's heartbeat continued to sound in my ear as i waited for labs to confirm my morning scare was all just a sign of impending (but still not present) labor. at this point i was having steady but completely painless contractions (as i'd been having on and off for the past few weeks), and my midwife came in to check my progress - none since my prenatal appointment the day before. she assured me baby was just fine and warned me that chances were high i would soon be released since her intimate examination revealed in-tacked membranes (i.e. no water breakage yet!). with spirits low, i texted joey to let him know i was being discharged and to stand down for the rest of the day. i texted my mom to confirm our 11am pick-up date and waited impatiently as ever for labs to arrive.

thirty agonizingly long minutes later the nurse came in with her phone to her ear. i overheard her mention something about a positive amnio (a test used to determine if amniotic fluid is present in the urine), but assumed she was semi-rudely discussing the results of another patient's good news in front of me. instead, she looked over at me with a smile and a wink (darling nurse, she was) to negate my suspicions. positive amnio for this girl, we were staying!

i texted my mom and joey to let them know the change of plans and promptly got a call from joey demanding clarification and direction. although this stubborn babe of ours was due almost exactly a week ago, the idea of labor actually, really being here... as in right now, was completely surreal to us both. i don't even remember what we said to each other as we feigned a cool conversation (while both completely freaking out in our heads) about getting my mom to my car, so she wasn't stranded at her hotel while we were at the hospital, and joey to the hospital with our bags.

40 minutes later i was in an expansive and actually pretty luxurious labor suite, hooked to monitors and an iv of very-slow-dripping pitocin that took 3 painful pokes in my "excellent veins" to get right. joey arrived shortly after, and then we waited. and waited. and waited. i'd been at the hospital since around 7am, and by 3 that afternoon all we'd accomplished were some pretty raggedly distributed contractions that were clearly doing no good, and i was starving! at 5pm my midwife came in to break my water and hopefully get the ball rolling. a half hour after my water broke (the most disgusting feeling in the world, by the way!), i was having excellent (and increasingly uncomfortable) contractions semi-regularly. we were finally moving!

read part 2 here.... but first, pictures of henry to tide you over...

this face. after every meal.

only slightly tolerant of his mama after bath time. but that hair!