self soother

despite our greatest efforts (of spoiling the living snot out of him!), there are times when our sweet little h just willnothaveit. he's simply fed up. too much time in his jumper. too little time spread out on the dining room table. too long since lunch. too close to bed time. and in these desperate moments of unhappiness, there is a very slim bag of tricks we use around here to buy a little time:

1. pick the prince up and dance. obviously.

2. lay infant beneath dining room chandelier. 

3. adele.

4. place da babes, frontward facing, in the baby bjorn

but truth be told, there are times the situation just can't be helped. like when mother needs to use the facilities, and in that case his vibrating rocking chair is where he's got to remain for another quarter of a second. so we buckle him in like the responsible parents we sometimes are, bellied up just the perfect distance away from the patio doors (for his extended viewing pleasure) and the television (because we devil parents are not above using the tv to entertain our three month old), hang a few dozen colorful toys from the trapeze bar that spans across his face in the rocking chair, and dash to complete the necessary task in less than 5 seconds. all the while, henry bellows as if his very life has been crushed to bits. unless! unless the tearful stars have aligned just right, and the sounds of injustice henry is brewing somehow morph themselves into a slight gargle, if even for a second. just long enough for the vibrating, bubbly music to register in henry's ear. because then we're saved, the sorrow will be forgotten. if there is one thing a henry knows how to do around here, it's sustain a good gargle for several minutes at a time. and he loves it! and in those short yet celebrated minutes, a five second bathroom break can be downright relaxing. 

aaaaaaaand, is it summer yet?

to thirty

last monday, i turned 30. surprisingly to many - including me - the day came and went with zero hyped-up emotional episodes of panic or self-pity. the transition from 29 to 30 was supposed to mean something tragic. it was supposed to represent the death of some significant being inside of me and the birth of some ripened version my former fresh-faced self. and when it didn't feel like any of that i spent half of a second trying to figure out why, and then promptly went back to living my life. because it didn't matter. and maybe that relatively logical perspective is the peek into what 30 will be like. if so, this decade will be the most stress-free, genuinely enjoyable one yet. so 30, pull up a chair! it's great to have you.

the saturday before my birthday, joey presented me with a bound portfolio entitled "jamie's valentine's day/birthday agenda". the first page instructed me not to turn the page until the first adventure was over. i had an hour to shower and prepare for a day of mystery. only a few clues were provided, along with a list of rules that asked for "no questions" and "limited cell phone use". i hate surprises. i am a prude. but i'm also a rule follower, and the idea of having an agenda, however limited and secretive, was empowering and helped my reallyeasygoing nature (wink) relax.

joey and huck dropped me off on some obscure, snow covered curb in the middle of old town alexandria, and at that point i was allowed to turn the first page. stop number one was a manicure/pedicure a block away. i must have walked ten miles throughout the day. all over gorgeous old town (the next stop was a message!) then through the bustling streets of george washington university's campus (my new employer - have i mentioned?!!). every page brought a new location, a new map, and an envelop stuffed with money or a metro pass or whatever supplies i would need for the next piece of my adventure. on the last page i was instructed to meet henry and joey at the lincoln memorial. i stood on the top step looking out at the reflection pool and the pointy top of the washington monument before my family arrived, bundled up in my warmest layers as the wind whipped my hair around and tingled my cheeks, and i smiled. i was freezing and impatient for the boys to find me, but at that moment i felt like i'd won the lottery. the plan once joey and huck arrived was to have our pictures taken around the memorial, but we decided to get henry back to the car and out of the bitter weather instead. we spend the rest of the afternoon together in our warm house, and after henry went to bed our neighbors came over and joey took me to one of my favorite sea food places we've tried yet.

some day he's going to give me lots of grief for all the pictures we have of him wrapped up in his amice. and i will describe in chunky detail how fun it is to clean up the seemingly infinite amounts of spit up and drool that drain continuously from his sometimes smiley little face.

the day was... just so... exactly what i needed. the word perfect doesn't even scratch the surface. joey could have handed me an itinerary as articulate and thought out as the one i got, and i would have been completely overjoyed with just that. just the thought. just the time that i knew he'd put in making every single piece smooth, stress-free, and meticulously tailored for me was enough. but then i got to make it happen! each time i turned the page, my heart skipped. every time i opened an envelop filled with just the perfect amount of cash for the next stop on my journey made me love my husband even more, which seems impossible. because the truth is, i really did win the lottery. this life, it's just so incredible.

these guys. my heart.

dear huck // 1

you are 104 days old today, and when you woke up this morning it was 2 o'clock and you knew that you were ready for the day. mother was not so sure. the second time you woke it was 7am and with that our morning had begun. my favorite part of every day is the very first minute that i see your wiggly body on the monitor beside my bed. your knees curl up to your chest and your hands float around your mouth as you fight to catch a fist-full of fingers for a morning taste. your hand-eye coordination has some work to do developmentally, and we giggle at the way you clasp one hand tightly around the other fist while simultaneously using every effort you can muster to lock eyes on your morning catch, hold your fists as still as possible, and then, but only after you're sure those pesky hands won't slip away from you first, you pounce. your forefingers and the tops of your hands are raw and bright red from your constant game of cat and mouse. some day you will find a way to mash a full two fists in your mouth at once. until then we are all entertained while you try.

your room is dark, and your humming sound machine softly vibrates the table beside your crib. when i pull back the curtains your eyes watch me move about as i shut off your sound machine, turn on the light, then walk over to you splayed out in your crib. your arms are stretched towards either side of your crib now and your feet reach up to the ceiling, stuck together in your sleep sack. you stare up at me with serious eyes and without a smile. your feet slam down onto the mattress, then shoot up again towards the ceiling. "good morning baby." you smile up at me and try again to capture both fists in your mouth while your feet slam down onto the mattress like bricks. "how did you sleep?" you smell like fresh laundry and i smile at the sound of your voice catching in your throat as you readjust to the new altitude in my arms. you take a deep breath and burry your mouth in my shoulder. your hands are at your sides, your arms locked tightly to your body with the aerodynamics of a luger. in this moment you are sleepy and content, and if i could bottle up the feeling of absolute fulfillment that i have every morning with you in my arms, just like this, i would need nothing else at all. you. you're it, henry.

happy valentine's day

henry and i made a quick little video for joey in celebration of valentine's day. it's extra long and probably not as fun for you to watch as it is for us... but i can't not share :) enjoy... or skip it. either way, have a wonderful valentine's day!

in lieu of dairy, i shall complain

our little short-stop likes to relax with some literature before bed

did you know that food manufacturers are required by the fda to list the word "milk" on all product labels for food containing dairy?
did you know that milk is often found in baked goods, caramel candies, chocolate,  salad dressing, and nougat?
did you know that a dairy-free diet also requires the elimination of butter, yogurt, and cheese?

i know you're rolling your eyes right now and nodding along, because you surely did know all those things! and i suppose i knew it too, loosly. in the sort of way we know things that only remotely relate to us in our lives and we only stare in disbelief and sorrow at the poor soul who chooses to cut out the milk products for any number of "i'm going to be more healthy!" reasons. and we secretly giggle to ourselves, because who in their right gourd would e.v.e.r choose to eliminate such things as c.h.e.e.s.e, c.h.o.c.o.l.a.t.e, and b.a.k.e.d g.o.o.d.s**?

me. is who. and you know the way to my heart has never been the shiny diamonds. never! chocolate, is what! bake me a batch of soft, gooey cookies. that's it! and yet, i write to you in a state of dairy free health. and need i remind you that caffeine has also been nixed from my life? so for the past few weeks i've been hydrating with decaf coffee and living on cookies, and spinach salads - heavy on the shredded cheese and ranch dressing. i should be ashamed to admit all that, but i'm not. especially because it's over. all of it. except the decaf (spiked with almond milk, not cow) and spinach - thank goodness. and i'm in mourning.

for the last week this guy has been producing unusual diaper contents (and that's the furthest we'll go with that description). he's also taken to scream-wailing here and there throughout the day and bunching himself up into tight little balls of unhappy, which he hasn't done since he was about one month old. so i took him to see his pediatrician yesterday, and you guessed it! he's developed an allergy to milk protein. classic case, they see it all the time. so i got a pamphlet with a list of all things mother needs to avoid in order to make henny's tummy better (we already talked about that), and i was relieved! i'm not kidding, completely relieved to have an answer to every single question i had about henry's curious state. i now knew how to fix him, relatively easily. if you're a mom, you get it. you celebrate that ability to fix it. but that was last night... and this is today. and i want a chocolate chunk cookie. bad. but i'm not going to... i promise! although i would highly suggest you do.

so in 1-3 short weeks huck's tummy will be celebrating and i will be healthier than i've been in all my life :) win, win. but now my husband needs to find a different gift for valentine's day, because obviously his previous plans (should have!) included chocolate of various sizes and flavor. obviously!

henry weighed in yesterday at 16 pounds, 7 ounces, so we know he is growing like the dickens still. he's also doing something through the night that i'm not going to talk about for fear of reversing any saintly behavior that may be happening every.single.night for the past 4 nights! i'm talking, 8pm to 8am. all through the night. but i'm not talking about it, because mother likes her sleep and i am not going to jinx it!

**my neighbor lives vegan and gluten free, and the sweet soul drops off baked goods about once every couple of weeks that go straight to the trash because they taste like the sand casseroles i used to make as a kid, and i grew out of sand-eating decades ago. so when i say "baked goods", you know i'm talking about the real baked goods... high fat, extra fluffy, chocolate that just won't quit.

3 months

yes! that is dawson's creek running on amazon prime in the background. and yes! if you've shown even remote interest in receiving henry update pictures from me you've seen this video already. so sorry. but i love it, and i think you should watch it again. and again. and again. and again. because i have!

today henry is three months old, and i don't even want to talk about what that means for his daytime nap schedule because he has essentially fazed them out all together. twenty minutes is what we get around here, two or three times in a day. it's unnatural, is what that is!

in other news, i've waxed poetic one too many times about how dependent we are on a good swaddle around here, and so you can imagine my fear when huck and his slippery little arms started to weasel clean out of the swaddler every.blasted.time i laid him down this week. i'm talking, within minutes! and on cue, arms start flailing and both eyes pop open as if straight jet fuel burns through his veins. 'not tired, mom!' he's shouting at me through the monitor, legs shooting into the air then slamming down like sledge hammers. 'not tired at.all, mom!' which is (somewhat) just fine at 11am while i'm trying to fold laundry or shovel a bowl of oatmeal into my mouth before the monster calls, but at 2am the story is lots different and your narrator is delirious and super.unhappy. so we tried everything: looser swaddle - "nope, i can break out of that too mom!", only one arm swaddled - "ha, mom, you're so fuuuuuunny!", no arms swaddled - "mom, still not tired!", sleep sack with arms inside the arm holes - "my arms go up in here too mom, and now my face is inside the head hole and i.can't.breath!" you know how this story goes, because the kid needs to sleep (and so does his mother), so something had to be done! with athletic stamina, we bounced and bounced and bounced until huckster reached the deepest of deep slumbers, and then, moving in a way that only cats and parents know how to move we laid him down and prayed. ten minutes later his legs were flying, he was doing cookies in his crib, and the sound of his wails... well i know you heard them so we don't even need to talk about it. and then suddenly, in the middle of our tenth or eleventh bounce of the night, he exhausted himself clean out. we laid him down, his eyes locked tight, his legs still flailing. and now we know, without a swaddle he flails in his sleep, almost constantly. his arms are never still. his grunts never cease. but he sleeps, miraculously. and last night, the night before his three month birthday, he slept for over e.i.g.h.t hours. his gift to me. and i'll take it and run.

but my boy, he is getting so big. his giggles are coming more often lately, especially when daddy is contorting henny's body into silly predicaments or mommy is making crazy noises (she calls it singing) and there are hand motions involved. bath time is still just tolerable, because that water is so unpredictable the way it splashes straight into his face when he kicks and who ever said hanging out naked was any kind of fun at all? every time i lift him from his crib in the morning he feels bigger, more in control of his body. he's got this cool personality that levels me every single day. happy 3 months buddy. you make our lives so very complete.

do you think hucky baby can spare a smile? nope, not at this time mom. and i don't need a nap!

also, 1 month and 2 months

milestones

henry says hey from his post in the mamaroo this superbowl sunday morning, but he can't be bothered. he is sleeeeping. we've been trying to justify spending the kinda lotsa money for this beautiful decoration that mostly does little except impress company and cradle an already asleep henry when his parents are too lazy to haul him upstairs to his crib. but this morning, as well as one other morning this week, the wonder machine lulled the babe to sleep all by itself - fulfilling its job description to a t - and therefore i declare it wortheverypenny.

this week has been a whirlwind of developmental strides for h, and although this picture displays another desperate attempt to make tummy time extra special and veryveryvery entertaining for my stubborn child, enjoying tummy time has n.o.t been one of the strides we've made. he still hhhhhhates it. this is about 4 seconds in, and he's still in shock so the tears haven't yet started to roll. you don't even want to see the mess he becomes after minute 1. buuut look at that hair! tommy pickles? yep!

yesterday we finally decided to pull the trigger and purchase a play mat so henry could become a normal child and play on the floor instead of the dining room table, but we got super distracted in the infant play area and bought this instead. henry doesn't know if he likes it or not yet, but we get hours of entertainment watching him try to figure it out!

speaking of figuring it out! there's a good chance h is going to find himself flipped right over onto his tummy eons before he decides he can stand it. he was hard at work the other morning, sucking his fingers and kicking his limbs when out of nowhere he shot his legs straight towards the ceiling and rolled his burly body right onto its side. a lucky result of gravity's magic, i assumed, and we moved on with our day. until he rolled himself straight back on to his back without even a blink. and now for the life of me i can't get him to stay on his back for any amount of time before i've lost his attention and he's back on his side. anyone know where they sell table fences, because we've got a half-roller who prefers to be 4 feet off the ground on our eating surface...

and finally, he giggles :)

gooooo... football team! just kidding, i'm going for seattle. because they have great jerseys. henry's going for the vikes ;)